


Falling Slowly

by KumoriYami



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Artist Lavellan because why not, Dragon Age Kink Meme, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Family Dynamics, Memory Loss, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Multiple, Probably Slow Build, Siblings, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:05:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4971019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KumoriYami/pseuds/KumoriYami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(i still suck with summaries!)</p><p>Eira Lavellan ran away from everything and everyone she knew to escape the fate that was written out for her when she found out that she was raised to be one of the Evanuris's bridal candidates as a child. Having rejected her potential betrothed, she sought safety from another of the Evanuris, but it was on the condition that she would eventually meet her intended partner one day, and would remember nothing of her promise.</p><p>Now with the few memories she has, the new family she's found, and with her new life and identity, Eira finds herself being ordered to attend an Arlathvhan at the behest of her god, where she finds herself catching the eye of a stranger and being enticed by the prospect of love for the first time in her life...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Last Dance

**Author's Note:**

> This is my sorta with some Cinderalla-yish elements at the start, definitely AU, and probably in an Arlathan sorta setting story that I somehow wrote that after being bombarded with ideas (despite actually having a test to study for. ugh!) after looking at this prompt:  
> Levallan raised to be Fen'Harel's bride @ http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/15060.html?thread=58990548#t58990548 which says:
> 
> So this would be set when the gods are still going strong. I would like to see Ellana (a past life maybe?) as a slave who was raised to be Fen'Harel's wife. Maybe multiple women were raised this way and he chose her, maybe she's the only one. Basically I would like to see this, see how Lavellan reacts, and above all, even though there wouldn't be love at first, I want them to eventually fall in love with each other. Happy ending please!
> 
> \--------  
> Was a bit inspired by it though didn’t really keep to it, and I just had this weird idea that while Lavellan was being groomed to become Fen’Harle’s bride, she ran off as a child and sought protection from one of the other Evanuris since she despised the idea of being promised to someone who she had no idea was, since she wanted to have someone she loved and chose herself. The Evanuris she finds agrees to protect and sort of raise her, but only the condition that she meets him eventually or something and has parts of her memory removed of what happened and her vows… or something. Somehow came up with this. 
> 
> Random note - I like my elves with names that start with the letter ‘E’ for some reason. And I made this Lavellan an artist for some reason.. and yes I changed the title. I'm terribly indecisive with those. Enjoys?

Eira frowned as she carefully adjusted her mask for nearly the hundredth time. Nerves, she kept on telling herself. She would at least be able to hide her identity for the night though. All she had to do was stay long enough She could pray to Mythal for strength to get through the night, but she honestly doubted that the goddess would be listening tonight. Especially since she had ordered her to attend this Arlathvhan that she honestly had no idea what it was for, only that it was in Arlathan.

Even if she couldn’t remember much about where she had come from, she knew that when you’re asked by Mythal herself to attend something, you did not refuse. None of the People would dare say no, even if that order came from voices of a clouded song in her mind that became part of her ever since she drank from a certain well.

She was but a child when she was separated from her clan after falling into some ruins, and her memory of what occurred after was spotty at best. While something told her that she was from clan Lavellan, she doubted her thoughts. She had knowledge of magic that she couldn’t recall undergoing the training for, scars on her skin that she didn’t know what caused them, and she was followed around by a spirit-like boy who she couldn’t recall meeting.

The only thing she was sure of though was that drinking from the Well had been the cost she paid to leave, though she didn’t know what she had left and when. It didn’t bother her much though. Even though the Vir'abelasan bound her to Mythal, it had been quite helpful through the life she came to lead, and for years it showed her the beauty and helped her unravel the mysteries she had come across. She had always been fairly quiet, observant and curious as a child, so it was helpful to ask something in addition to the spirits she found rather than no one at all.

It didn’t really matter to her to never have company though. Eira spent most of her time, if she wasn’t exploring forests, painting and breathing life into works of art. Her works were apparently popular since whenever she visited a city, others would actually approach her and proclaim to give her anything she wished in exchange for a piece, and she could easily live off the comforts that the gold it brought in. It was simple for her to be a travelling artist, though she never gave her name. Something instinctively told her that that was one thing that she could never do unless it was to people she would trust her life with.

Her life however, in her opinion, never really started until she had met the two elves that were currently waiting for her to hurry up and get changed. They had met in one of the forests of Elvhenan and were being attacked at the time. Somehow they had banded together to drive the pursuers away and they had been living together since. Both of them didn’t even consider letting her attend this gathering alone, or the idea of being left behind.

“Eira … come on, you can delay it all you want, but nothing is going to change. You are going.” There was an almost pained smile from her best friend Varania, as she scooted her out of the “guest room.” They both knew that she had no choice but to go. The Well had ordered her to this Arlathvhen for reasons she still had no idea what the purpose of her presence would bring. She only had to stay until midnight though, then the binding that had been pestering her for months would finally stop, and she would be free to never return to Arlathan. As a result of it, they had arrived only a week ago and had been directed to one of Mythal’s temples, or palaces, depending on how you looked at it. After Eira had stated her purpose, they had been swept away immediately to prepare. “You do look beautiful though. Don’t you think so Fenris?”

“Indeed, though it is quite a change from what we are accustomed to.” Fenris frowned as he helped his sister fix her dress before adjusting the outfit that he was being forced to wear. Them dressing like nobles and wearing clothes of such high quality was… uncomfortable, to say the least. It was small consolation that they were all to be wearing masks so their identities would remain hidden, and that they were to keep the outfits as gifts.

As a result of that, Varania had taken great care in choosing a dress that wouldn’t attract too much attention if worn outside of Arlathan but still within Elvhenan and chose accessories that would be easy to sell. Despite her being the likely youngest of the group, she thought of their future considerations… well most of the time.

Eira on the other hand had chosen an outfit that was probably too simple for a gathering among nobles. Well, it was the least expressive in her opinion of the available options since it covered most of her skin, as she was never comfortable with strangers watching her. The gown was mainly white and light green and was accented with light blue and pale white stones that gave the impression that she walked with snow in the spring. One of the masks she had prepared unfortunately had a similar impression, and Varania insisted that she wear it. While the majority of it was carved and painted wood, light shone off it like pure white ice dragon scales that gave the impression of snow. “Maybe I shouldn’t wear this mask…. The one with the halla design might be better….”

“C’mon Eira. The one you’re wearing now, really looks better. You actually might catch some fancy noble’s gaze you know?” Varania knew that her friend wasn’t comfortable with attention and only smiles as she shakes her head before helping Eira with her sleeves. She had wanted to wear gloves, but none of them matched. “Besides, this is the first and last time that we’ll be in Arlathan… we might as well make the most of it.”

“Indeed.” While Fenris voiced their agreement with his sister’s words, none of them planned on staying in the magical empire above the clouds. They preferred the life offered outside the confines of society, and the freedom they desired was only possible in the lands below they sky. “You really outdid yourself this time though. We’ll probably get extra attention just from the craftsmanship from the masks you made.”

Eira awkwardly scratches her neck at that. Flattery made her… feel like she had butterflies in her stomach. She had to make them all masks in the first place since proper decorum required them to wear ones that were unique, and failing to do so, especially if one’s mask was the same as some nobles, it could result in death. Their masks were all white and there were small matching details between them that would tell an observer that they were a group. Hers and Fenris’s however, were made larger than Varania’s since they both had vallaslin and it was decided that they needed to cover their faces more to hide it as they didn’t want anyone even trying to identify them later, though hers only reached as low as her upper cheeks. “Just in case…. What names will be going by if we need to use them?”

“I’m… Leto, I’m assuming you still intend to use Lavellan as opposed to Eres, and Varania…. is Grimmy.” Varania groaned at her brother’s impromptu code name. Out of the three, she was the most paranoid and changed the name they were to refer to as nearly every single time they had been forced to attend some event with nobles, but as she was also the least creative amongst them when it came to names, she was often forced to go along with whatever her brother suggested. Given that this was the first time they’d be in the presence of _real_ nobles and very powerful mages, it was only right to go over their usual procedure just in case. They hardly ever needed to resort to such measures though most of the time, but it was a precaution that served them well in the past.

Unlike Varania though, the names that Fenris and Eira used were to send messages. Leto was the name of the life he had left behind and it challenged those that were still hunting him and his sister to try, while Eira’s usage of Lavellan was similar as she wanted to see if there was anyone who would recognize her. She usually went by Eres when they travelled through cities when they needed to buy something. It was also the name that was associated with her artistic identity, or at least the name people referred to as an enigmatic art dealer.

“You have terrible taste in names brother…” They laugh, but its uneasy laughter since they would be surrounded by nobles for the next few hours, and none of them were fond of those who saw themselves as higher than others. All Eira had to do was stay until midnight then Well would let her leave…

* * *

“Isn’t that your work?”

“No wonder why you could always sell your pieces… popular.” They speak in hushed whispers as they walk through the halls of the palace that the Arlathvhen was being hosted in. As guests they didn’t need to go attending any of the meetings that were being held thankfully, and just really wanted to enjoy the free food from the party being held in the grand ballroom at the back. The sight of some familiar artwork however, catches their gaze as they walk.

“…..” Eira doesn’t really know what to say as she finds various pieces of her work around the palace as she walks with her friends. Several of her paintings and carvings were on display, and there were small groups of people surrounding most of them. They were… talking. About her work. _Her work._ She really wanted to listen. “You two should go ahead. I think I’ll look around here more.”

“All right, though we’ll find you later.” Regardless of what they did, it didn’t really matter, and Eira didn’t want to distract them from enjoying this forced experience as much as possible. Varania and Fenris both understand though, and they leave her in the vestibule, where she eventually finds one of her paintings dedicated to Mythal after feeling less nervous and more content given the praise she had heard from walking around.

Or at least she’s pretty sure it’s hers. There were a large number of imitators of her paintings, and given the popularity she had, she wasn’t surprised. Her carvings and statues however were harder to duplicate and most forgers didn’t even try given the degree of detail she put in. It probably didn’t really help that she never signed her work… with a signature anyway. Instead, she had burned symbols into each piece with Veilfire, and while it wasn’t always in the most obvious of places, she could easily remember where they all were. Part of her is genuinely surprised though when she sees similar words that she had used to describe this piece in particular to the individual she had sold it to in the description below it.

It described how regardless of one’s station, justice would always be carried out accordingly, and that if justice was deceived and denied, the wrath of vengeance would forever burn until it received its due, whether that occurred through dreams and nightmares or by the sword. While it was by no means one of Eira’s cheerier works, she liked this one because it reflected belief that no one was above justice.      

“I must admit that I’m surprised to see this piece hold someone’s attention for so long. Usually most people prefer to look at the works dedicated to Sylaise or June. They tend to be less… provocative, as are the descriptions.”

She shifts her position slightly as she makes room for the stranger now standing next to her. That was certainly true. It was easier to put interpretations of what they represented to canvas rather than someone like Mythal… “That’s true, but this one is one of my favourites.”

“A patron of the arts I take it?” While he was clearly wearing a noble’s manner of dress, he didn’t come across as one since his clothes were more… simple. At least from what she had seen. He was wearing a wolf pelt across his body as well, which in her opinion stuck out a bit, in addition to a mask that depicted the same creature. While the mask she made for Fenris represented the same thing, the stranger’s seemed more… lonely in a way. “Or is the artist who you are a fan of?”

“Both, in a matter of speaking. I like the artist. She’s not afraid to express her opinions, and well, I’ve always liked art.” Eira displays a small smile before she turns her gaze back to the painting. “…But I must admit, I’m surprised to see so many of the artist’s works in one place since they’re quite popular. Most collectors I’ve seen only have one or two pieces.”

“The owner is quite taken by the artist’s sense of style and how they always seem to invoke emotions from him. He does his best to acquire what he can, or so I’m told. This is coincidently one of mine, and his favourite pieces as well, and he does make an effort to have the original insight on the artist’s thoughts preserved if able to for the paintings…. though he is quite fond of the statue of the Dread Wolf that he acquired last year.”

“He owns that statue?” She couldn’t truly believe what she heard. That statue was the only commission piece she had ever done in her life, and she had only done so because Varania had been both seriously wounded and ill at the time and they needed funds to secure treatment and extra safety during that time. “Then I must really thank him for that in place of the creator. That piece holds a special meaning in their heart as it greatly helped their personal circumstances at the time.”

“You’ve met the mysterious artisan behind it I take it?” The expression that she makes out from him is of respect so she doesn’t think he has ill intentions, or is planning on getting her to ask ‘the artist’ for one of her works.

“I know them, and as seeing you know the new owner of this piece apparently, it would be wrong if I didn’t check the authenticity of this piece.” She concentrates for a moment and soon, a small green flame appears in her hand. Very carefully, she moves the fire across the canvas until she catches the glow of some light green symbols. “Well, this is most certainly authentic.”

“How do you know?” He asks only when she extinguishes the flame. His stormy eyes are full of curiosity, though he does not let it show in his speech.

“The artist tends to mark her work with symbols in veilfire. They differ from piece to piece though and vary in shape and size depending on what art she produces, but it’s always three symbols.” Eira says it with just a hint of pride in her voice. She never really talked about her work with Fenris and Varania. They already knew the processes she used and the inspirations she drew from. “Usually they’re representations of what was going through their mind or what they drew inspiration from…”

“That is quite unique… da’len.” Her ears perk up for a moment as she hears the term. While she certainly understood what it meant, she had never been called that in recent memory….but it’s spoken respectfully. It’s only know that she realized that were people staring at her. A _lot_ of people actually… They were giving her looks of disdain, hatred… and envy. Unconsciously her hand touches her mask. It helped her hide who she was since she lacked courage, especially when in a very unfamiliar place.

Her eyes dart around like a rabbit seeking escape where there is one and Eira has half a mind to literally run, but she can’t leave yet. _Not until midnight,_ the Well reminds her. “I should… I should…” _Go_. The words never make it past her lips as she sees her companion offer her his arm which she reluctantly takes.

* * *

They walk in silence through the halls, where there’s considerably less people. They take a number of left and right turns, and Eira is sure she’ll get lost trying to find her way back later… “My apologies. I did not mean to cause you discomfort.”

“Oh _. No_. It’s okay.” She liberates herself from him almost hastily to shake her hands. Her gaze glances back the way they came and she frowns a bit hesitantly. There’s no one else around now. “Is it okay to be so far away from the… festivities?”

“It’s perfectly fine. The entire building has been granted for the use of the Arlathvhen, and one can still find the same entertainment and delicacies offered throughout if you know where to look.” Seeing how his expression is more relaxed, Eira forces herself to nod to show her understanding. “Besides, it would feel wrong to not show you the paintings back here.”

“Oh… _wow._ ” She’s grinning like a child seeing snow for the first time as she looks at the murals all over the walls. The style is unlike anything she’s seen and while it was looked more antiquated than what she was used to seeing, it reminded her of the ruins that she had seen had seen before. “These actually remind me of similar ones I’ve seen in ruins… It’s simply beautiful hahren.”

“You’ve seen similar murals in Elvhenan I take it?” There’s a note of almost… disbelief that she can place in the question.

“Yes… in a temple that I used to live in… I think.” Her tone is distant for a moment as she tries recalling the work. She would have remembered something like this…. “Who painted this?”

There’s a sly smile on her companion’s face and while it doesn’t look he doesn’t not want to answer, he doesn’t get the chance as he’s interrupted by someone who apparently has something to tell him. News… and not good news given the change in his expression. “I’m sorry, da’len. There is something I must attend to.”

She nods, dutifully. “It’s alright.” She hadn’t meant to wander around so long anyway. “Maybe we’ll… see each other later?” She doesn’t know why she says that and finds that she’s quite open to the prospect despite knowing that anything will not last. She has no real interest or intention in ever coming back.

“I would like that.” He says as he bows before walking out of sight.

Having been freed of her…. chaperone, Eira takes her time in going over her thoughts as she examines the masterpieces adorning the walls. They seemed familiar but she couldn’t place why… Usually it hardly took more than a glance for her to recognize someone’s style, and she’s almost regretful that she can’t recall such a memory when she finishes looking over everything. It could help her unlock parts of her past if she did….but there was probably a reason that they were gone.

She lets out a sigh at the futility of the idea. She was never one to regret the loss of her memory. Now’s not the time or place, and what she had to do now was find her way back somehow….

“I can help you if you’d like.”

“Oh, thank you Cole.” She smiles as she’s greeted with the familiar sight of Cole as she turns around. The spirit-like boy of a person was someone she had found on one of her many travels. She couldn’t remember where exactly she had found him though given the memory was associated with when she became lost to her clan. He had helped her survive the weeks she spent after she left… wherever it was that she had left, and he always seemed to appear out of nowhere. “I would appreciate it.”

He nods and they walk together. They talk about masks and hats and how he’s busied himself helping some of the servants around the venue. Speaking to him always put her mind at ease so it was a welcome diversion from reality.

They pass by a few libraries that she didn’t notice earlier and Eira is half-tempted to stop and see if there’s any books about lyrium. None of the texts she had purchased back home really went into details about lyrium since those living in Arlathan used it to increase their magical abilities and control over the Beyond. Still, that never deterred her. Even if a tome only contained a few pages on the subject, she would go out of her way to buy it because always concerned about the lyrium branded into Fenris. He never spoke of them and neither she nor Varnia ever asked, but they worried about his lyrium tattoos. Fenris was no mage and there could be long term effects of the lyrium that could affect him… but she doesn’t stop to look this time.

“He doesn’t want you to be worrying about him right now. They’re both worried about you. _”_ Cole echoes the thoughts that go unspoken. Her family… as dysfunctional as they were at times, knew her well. She could spend hours poring over pages in texts that even mentioned the usage of lyrium, especially since it was one of the things that kept Varania up at night given that her brother’s brands also caused him pain at times.

 _It would be bad to lose track of that much time_ , she tells herself as they eventually make it to the grand ballroom. She doesn’t see Varania or Fenris so they were probably elsewhere… There was a live orchestra playing, a rather large balcony at the end of room with a view of Arlathan’s night sky, and the tantalizing smell of food was in the air. There were still men and women alike in their masks… watching her? With less obvious scrutiny this time around though given that half of the couples were engaged with each other either on the dance floor or less discreet corners.

It makes her wonder who on in Mythal’s name was her conversation partner earlier. He was perceived as someone desirable given the half looks of hatred from half the women she encountered. There really was no point thinking about it though. It’d be the last time they’d see her, and the last time she’d see him.

Her mouth waters a bit as she goes by the buffet, there are more than a few frilly cakes in addition to some delectable dishes that she recognizes from other gatherings she’s attended. They usually stuck to living off the land so treats like this were rare, so she doesn’t even bother thinking of not indulging herself. Cole doesn’t say anything as a faint smile forms on his lips as he helps her find somewhere to sit.

* * *

“Thanks for staying with me Cole, though I really shouldn’t keep you from helping people.” There’s a small hint of self-depreciation in her voice as she walks to the balcony after depositing her silverware. He was a good friend to have around, but she had no desire to keep him away from his purpose.

“The voice in your head say you only need to stay for a little bit longer. Do you want me to call Fenris or Varania, Lavellan?” It’s times like this that she was grateful that no one could see him unless he wanted them to. It would be odd at any event to see a boy wearing a very large hat looking fairly disheveled. “They can keep you company when I’m helping people.”

Part of her brow furrows as she hears the names though. Cole didn’t really get using different phrases to hide themselves, but he still addressed her as Lavellan when she wished it. “No… it’s all right, but thank you Cole.”

"It is your name even if you can't remember." Eira smiles for a moment as she watches Cole disappear almost immediately. He had probably felt someone’s hurt for a while now but chose to stay with her a bit longer. She knew that he had once been a spirit of compassion, and while she never knew why he stuck around with her, she was grateful for his presence as she turned her gaze back to the night sky. It was beautiful and she was doing her best to memorize the scenery with the best of her ability to recreate later. While she understood the beauty of Arlathan, memories were the only memento she would allow herself.

"Pardon me, Lav… da’len?" She bit her lip at the brief sound of her name and visibly swallows. Someone had heard their conversation. Her nervous gaze finds itself being directed to the stranger she had spoken with earlier. While she did enjoy talking with him, she was under the impression that he had something important to attend to. "My apologies. I did not mean to eavesdrop, but I wanted to ask you some…things, da’len."

His tone is polite and quite with small hints of curiosity mixed in. "What did you wish to know?" She says a bit too quickly and automatically. She didn’t expect to actually be talking to anyone beyond the mere formalities, and he seems to have sensed how she tensed as when he almost referred to the name Cole had given and went back to referring to her as he did earlier.

“I have never seen a... spirit like the one you were speaking with before. Is he your friend?"

“You saw him?” Her voice tightens for a second. Spirits weren’t always looked upon kindly in across Elvhenan… and that might be true in the heart of the empire. There was also how he wasn’t an elven spirit either given his rounder, flatter ears, not that she ever cared.

“I do not mean anything by it. I was merely curious since he seems unique.”

“Oh. Well… Yes then. He is.” She refrains from adding anything else mainly because she really can’t, and thankfully her answer doesn’t raise more questions. She probably would have answered them given her sense of obligation though. “I thought you had something to attend to?”

“I did, though there are few things that can keep me away from anyone I wish to see however temporary.” There’s an almost playful smile on his face that causes her cheeks to redden. It doesn’t show though thankfully because of her mask.

“That… is sweet.” Unrestrained laughter rings out of her she shakes her head. “I don’t know what to say.”

“There is one thing you could do me the honour of answering….” He pauses a moment to add emphasis. “…Would it be possible to ask you for a personal favour?”

“Of course hahren. Anything for what you’ve shown me today.” There’s a genuine smile on her face although she doubts she’ll really be able to do anything in her power.

“Would you dance with me?” Her eyes widen for a moment as he bows slightly and offers his hand. She doesn’t say anything though. She can’t. She doesn’t know how to give a simple yes despite wanting to, and is equally unsure if the word will even come out correctly given her elation at the idea. “For two songs, is all I ask.”

Instead she nods nervously as she slips her hand into his. He holds her gently and smiles as he leads her to the ballroom floor.  

Eira could swear that both of her ears were completely red. She could almost feel that all eyes in the room were on her again. She can imagine Varania not trying not to grin like an idiot at the idea of her dancing, and Fenris doing his best not to show too much shock on his face at her actions. “Stop. Don’t think about anything else,” he says this as he wraps his arm around her with a moderate smile, which she nods to, less nervously now.

It was difficult to focus on not stepping on his toes as they danced. While she was by no means elegant with her movements, she somehow managed to move with grace as he swept her along with his pace. It helped that she diverted part of her attention to the music as opposed the man whose arms she was in. It was like she was on a stage with all eyes on her, and for once she found herself not caring…

* * *

They retreat back to the balcony after two songs finish, and she’s certain that she’s filled with the feeling that she had when seeing winter’s first snow, which is to say being giddy and excited beyond belief.

Eira isn’t sure what happens, but somehow she ends up in his embrace again with gentle fingers dancing around her mouth and trace her lips. She’s never known a feeling like it she thinks as they touch, and their lips meet.

He pulls her in close, and for a moment Eira thinks that nothing else matters.

"That was... nice." She managed somehow as he releases her from his grasp though his hand still holds one of hers. He was…. warm and comforting.

"Do you... would you do me the honour of letting me see you again?" He kisses her left hand and bowed deeply. His hand was pressing magic against her hand that felt full of… care. It was soothing to feel it against her skin, and she could feel it skim against her soul in its warmth, but it was unknown. Alien. A warning bell goes off into her head. She had to go _now_.

“I…” She doesn’t know what to think when he lets go. His eyes are expecting and she felt weak in the knees. She doesn’t know what to say. She’s not… ‘ _You were promised to someone long ago_ ’ the Vir'abelasan whispers in her ears as she stands, almost unmoving, but still unsure what to say. ‘ _You swore to only choose one with your own heart long ago. Are you ready to make that decision now?_ ' Instinctively she knows the statement to be true, but she’s not ready. She can’t…

“There you are! I was looking all over for you. We have to go _now!_ ” Varania practically grabs her from behind and thankfully helps her escape her current predicament. While her friend spares her dance partner a glance, it doesn’t stop her from forcing a retreat a she pulls Eira along like the halla her mask depicts as they escape, heedless of the rudeness and looks it draws.

_She didn’t answer him or say farewell._

They don’t stop until they regroup with Fenris, far beyond the sight of the Arlathvhen, and by the eluvian they had journeyed through to reach Arlathan in the first place. They had all the supplies and more that they’d need to get back to their home of the forests of Elvhenan. While no one would say anything about their experience until later, Eira finds herself almost feeling sad that she’s going.

She would forever remember this experience in her heart… even if she didn’t know his name and would never see him again.


	2. Tripping on Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh dammit I should really be studying... not writing this!
> 
> also, I really, really, really, really, really, really miss Origin’s magic trees. DA2’s wasn’t bad but Inquisition cut off entropy… and Storm of the Century. im thinking that Eira is going to be a destructive mage who mainly studied the primal and spirits schools because my favourite spell was crushing prison with spell might and I loved to spam storm of the century and crushing prison.
> 
> don't think i'll have a lot of fighting though....

 “Your first kiss! You let him have your _first_ kiss!” Varania laughs like it’s one of the funniest things in the world that she’s heard. That was the problem when your friends were practically your siblings. They could get away with saying a _lot_ of things. “Was it any good?”

Her best friend says it like she’s never considered her ever kissing someone even though it’s nearly the hundredth time she’s mentioned it over the past week. It still makes Eira blush. A lot. She at least has the sense not to say anything now though. Knowing Varania though, she’d probably be talking about it for a month...

She does her best not to think about it though. About the ecstasy she felt. About the taste of him. Or about him at all…. But her feelings on him aside, it was really hard not to. She never told Varania or Fenris about the magic he had placed on her left hand. There was a soft green glow that reminded her of the Beyond at times that appeared on her, only days after leaving Arlathan and returning to their life of travelling. She hadn’t shown it to anyone and given how she always wore fingerless leather gloves, it was easy to do, but its presence bothered her a bit given the unknown factor associated with it. She could control its flashiness most of the time as long as she concentrated though, and the majority of the time she examined it, it didn’t appear at all. 

She hadn’t told them… her clan…. her _family_ , but Eira had the sense to predict what they’d do if they found out that someone had latched, for a better lack of a word as she hadn’t determined the nature of the magic, something onto her palm. Varania would want to study it in hopes of removing the mark, while Fenris… Fenris would brood about a decision for a while before trying to find the mage who had touched her like this before ripping the man’s heart out of his chest. The idea of both of them attempting something like that worried her to no end given that her own attempts had to remove it failed, and given how powerful the mark’s presence was on her, it was a secret she felt the need to keep.

She doesn’t like keeping secrets from them though… While both Varania and Fenris knew that she had certain aspects of her past she couldn’t remember, they didn’t ask her about it but were always willing to lend an ear to her problems. The same was true for her with their past as well, though Fenris didn’t speak a word of his and Varania knew significantly less. There was an unspoken agreement not to talk about subjects that were too personal unless it necessary or would endanger them, and while this one was different, it involved magic that could potentially be problematic.

She doesn’t heavily consider the notion of it being dangerous though, at least for the moment. That night… all she had felt was warmth and compassion. Care. There was nothing that suggested malicious intent. Cole even said similar things when she asked him since he had a different connection to magic then them. The only thing that she really noticed was that she could explore the Beyond with greater ease while she slept.

“Please, Varania. I already told you once! You don’t need to hear it again.” Eira grumbles softly as she looks up from the carving that she’s working on to see her friend busying herself with tightening up a bundle of tarp, readying for their eventual departure. They were camping out as usual although with winter coming around the corner, the group was stocking up on their supplies. If they were lucky they’d find a tree with large enough roots to turn into their lodgings for the months to come, otherwise they would look for a village to stay in as Varania didn’t have the best health in the winter. “Besides, you know I can’t stand nobles.”

Admittedly though, that was going to be the likely scenario and was why she was busy carving. None of maps they carried didn’t shed any insight in the current area they were travelling through, and they hadn’t had the luck to find a decent shelter. Eira would sell her work once she finished to secure more funds despite already having a sufficient amount. It was always nice to have extra gold for a snowy day, especially since they literally walked around everywhere. She had wanted to do a painting though instead, but those took far more time and inspiration, especially if she didn’t want her friends acting as her model for poses. She didn’t particularly like or dislike doing pictures with people in them and preferred drawing out things that drew out feelings and left more to the imagination.

Part of her is a bit hesitant about doing a painting though. Something about drawing more unnecessary attention from her hahren, who she accidently let slip that the artist he admired was female and she had said that she knew ‘her’.  Looking back at it now, it was a stupid thing to do. He was… a noble, and Eira frankly hated nobles. She had terrible experiences dealing with them in the past, and even if they were of considerably lower status compared to the nobles of Alrathan, there was no reason for her to believe that he was any different. Nobles had disgusting sense of entitlement and never cared about taking away people’s choices to achieve their own ends. Also, they never seemed to care about the people that _would_ get hurt when they wanted something for their personal ‘needs’ and desires.

It was the main reason why they all couldn’t call any of the cities or villages they had passed through _‘home’_. Ever. Too many instances of _‘Master such and such’_ requiring their presence bidding that they must offer their services to the reigning lord of whatever land. It was particularly nauseous when physical services were ‘asked’ of them. They would be “allowed” to leave only after they went and challenged the noble to a duel by a very angry and glowing Fenris after they knocked out their guards these people always seemed to have with their physical and magical abilities. Sometimes Fenris didn’t even need to go through with a challenge to get away as heart-grasping was usually enough, but there were occasions... 

It did get better after establishing her persona of Eres, the art broker and merchant years ago, but it had required quite the spectacle when she announced only exclusively carried one person’s work, and would be the only one to carry it for firsthand sales, which had nearly always been sought after. It involved the setting of several of her paintings that were owned by some noble on fire in a very public place at some art festival, Varania letting her anger explode and raining lightning down on the noble’s collection afterwards (though that was done privately), and Fenris nearly killing the noble when they stopped by the man’s house before issuing a number of threats when grabbing his heart.

It could be said that it only occurred after a being on the receiving end of a few dozen disrespectful demands for obedience. The actions they took won them some respect from servants who had been pushed into similar situations across Elvhenan, but it had also brought down a collective wrath of self-centered nobles. The smart ones didn’t bother though. Eira was one of the empire’s most sought out artists, and that was before learning that her work was admired in Arlathan. Being in favour with anyone from there went a long way apparently. 

In her opinion, it was better for the others to remain out of the public light if they were to have attention on them at all. Varania was a prodigy magical researcher despite her focus on lyrium (which was admittedly futile and she knew it given their lack of access to it but did so anyway and had made some very dangerous discoveries… that were a bit explosive) and Fenris could literally rip people’s hearts out of their chests. There was no telling what sort of attention and pursuers that would bring, and they already had enough to deal with.

“Leave it to nobles to always spoil everything.” There’s a bitterness in her friend’s voice that she knows all too well. The circumstances surrounding the siblings’ escape was something that she hardly ever spoke of, and only when her brother wasn’t around, were terrible to say in the least. “You’ll find someone one day.”

“I hope so.” Romantic love was something she aspired to having, especially since it was an issue that she had very strong feelings about. The idea of marrying out of duty or being born to wed someone disgusted her, and Eira had the sense to suspect that being one of her reasons for staying at wherever it was given that the Vir’abelasan’s words that night. The _freedom of choice_ was something she held close in her heart, yet she didn’t have the will to make a decision then. “What about you? You haven’t talked much about your experience about that night either. Your brother at least stated that he hated everything but the food. And something about how there was an annoying amount of swooning to have his brooding babies.”

“You have no idea how terrible it was! Brother even left early to get away from all those women… and as for me… I went and hid in a library so no one bothered me. There were a few texts with some information on lyrium in the books I managed to find… couldn’t read some of them though…”

Seeing her friend’s eyes dart away in embarrassment for a moment made her smile. Varania and Fenris had been taught how to read by Eira given that they both expressed a desire to learn fairly recently, but they’d run into something that they really couldn’t read occasionally. The siblings had difficulty with asking for help because of their background, and Varania in particular had a harder time when asking for assistance with anything. _“You didn’t!”_

“Yes… well sorry. Couldn’t exactly make notes then. So I just took the pages…” Her grin is rewarded when she sees her friend pulls out several pages– which unfortunately look like enough to fill a small book. Leave it Varania to have to have the backbone to steal from Arlathan… and from an actual elvhen noble. “I thought you’d be angrier. Fenris was furious…”

“Of course he would be.” She laughs as takes the pages into her hands after putting away her incomplete figure. There was a small amount of spilt ink on some of the pages so that it suggested that the author had written his or her observations when performing their own experiments in search of obtaining knowledge. “It’s one of his jobs to worry about you, you know.”

“You always take his side…”

“Only when he’s right, and you know it!” Varania rolls her eyes and pouts for a moment before turning away to focus on something else. As it was, they were making good time in getting ready to leave and only had  few things left that warranted their attention, and they both knew that Eira could take a long time reading, and an even longer time to write notes for her once she grasped the concepts. “Now let’s see….” Her brow furrowed as she started looking at the text and pulled out some papers of her own to write on. It was no wonder that Varania hadn’t been able to read everything. The hand that wrote it looked quite stylized, made the text quite small to maximize page space, and it looked a bit more antiquated than what Eira was used to. The writer had paid an impressive amount of detail regarding all the subjects they wrote about, and while lyrium was mentioned on most of the pages, there were only a few that touched on its uses.

The first mention of lyrium mentioned how it was possibly alive since it was the blood of the Titans and how the durgen’len could feel a song from lyrium before going in to how the species was the only ones who could apparently retrieve it safely in its raw form. The idea of that though was… curious given that she knew of the supposed Elvhen’s usage of it in Arlathan from other books.

Apparently lyrium could also grant the… _mundane…(_ she really didn't like the word though she had no other way to refer to them otherwise...) or at least those with the inability to cast magic the abilities to mute a mages’ gifts though there was nothing written on long-term effects somehow. She knew that mages used it there to increase their power despite knowing overusing lyrium could cause injury, psychological damage and mana imbalance in a mage so there was no telling what would happen if one who wasn’t touched with magic could go through… at least she didn’t worry about Varania doing anything with that. Self-preservation of health came before scientific research for her thankfully…most of the time.

The most disturbing information was how lyrium branding of a mage could cause them to become… Tranquil? Eira didn’t know what that referred to exactly but she could guess that it cut them off from either their emotions, or the Beyond, or both, given the author described how the mage would lose their… sense of self. Magic was a gift from the Creators that defined so many so it was possible that the observations referred to that but she couldn’t really be sure. Still, it wasn’t exactly something that she could really wrap her head around. Fenris only accessed the Beyond in the sleep, and his abilities and his abilities from lyrium certainly hadn’t made him unemotional. They let him emit bursts of spirit energy that felt like magic, let him phase through things, gave him a higher magic resistance, and made him harder to keep track of when trying to sense him with the innate connection that all the People had to the Beyond, mage or not.

The other references of lyrium weren’t exactly of interest to her friend since they talked about using them to access the Beyond, but she’d still make notes on it anyway. Varania wanted to write a book one day on the subject one day so it wasn’t a bad idea anyway. Besides, now that Eira had an unusual mark on her hand she had a new interest in the Beyond… mainly out of necessity. She knew about how dreamers could consciously control their dreams… and if she could somehow be tracked with it…? Alternatively maybe she could try and find him through the same method? _Stop thinking about him!_ She frowned as she rubbed her head. It was pointless to think about someone who wasn’t more than an unobtainable dream to her. 

“Eira do you require a new candle?” It takes her a moment to realize that Fenris was hovering over her with a slight look of concern on his face. There was a bit of disproval on his face as he glanced at the papers in her hand that his sister had stolen. She hadn’t realized how late it was since she started writing…

“I… sorry. Yes, I mean no. I’m good, but thank you. I should probably hand these to your sister wherever she is right now… did you find…?” Fenris was the fastest of them and took it upon himself to scout ahead if he could afford to. He knew that both she and his sister were more than capable of defending themselves but he still worried. 

“There’s a settlement of sorts not far… though I think a clan… the Sabrae? They apparently visit it regularly…” His voice was distant for a second. He knew about her interest in clan Lavellan, but other Elvhen clans? He didn’t particularly like them despite how they refused to submit to the nobility like nearly all the city elves. They tended to be too proud… or arrogant, and she couldn’t blame him. They wanted to curry favour from the gods in their own way and some of their traditions weren’t exactly…great. She could say that from experience. “I think there may be an eluvian there.”

“Hm. I don’t know of a clan by that name… but we could always look go around it and head elsewhere if you’re uncomfortable with that.” Although she says that, Eira unfortunately knows that Fenris would defer to her judgement anyway. Out of all them, she had had the most experience dealing with the People in general, clan or otherwise, but knew the dangers of nature better than all of them. The fact that an eluvian is mentioned piques her interest though. She wasn’t powerful enough to direct an eluvian to a destination of her choice unfortunately, and the last time they used one of the mirrors, they ended up too distant south to sunless lands. The journey back from there to civilization had been quite taxing in particular since it took them to through the Wilds and almost made them unable to make it to Arlathan.

While Eira was particularly interested in the areas of the Wilds that were in the far west, she had no real interest in climbing over mountains to get there, or walking to get there in general. There were rumours of settlement in one of the areas there... and while using an eluvian would make it a lot easier, the others were a bid more wary of using the mirrors. Neither of them wanted to end up too far north, and they even had an aversion to going to cities that were by the ocean.

“No. Varania’s health is my priority… the person I owe my freedom to… she prioritized family.” There was a rare smile on his face she recognized whenever Fenris talked about that person. All she knew was that the person was the one who helped with the siblings escape, and probably had a brother or sister, or both, to call their own. “It is a decision that I will proud to make…on my own. And it will be fine.”

“Alright then we’ll leave in the morning like planned.” She wishes Fenris a good night as she bows and leaves to find his sister. She would be proud knowing that her brother was making decisions for his own sake given his past…

* * *

Her eyes blink for a moment as she finds herself looking at a skyline of crystal. _Where..?_ She honestly expected to find herself in a forest given that the environment she was physically in influenced most of her dreams, but to see Arlathan…? Her hidden wish of wanting to see the place again would have to have been particularly powerful for her to dream about the heart of Elvhenan.  
It takes her a moment to realize that she was once again dressed like that night, complete with her mask. Perhaps it was because her connection to the Beyond was stronger that she could do such a thing? She had never been good with recreating memories or even environments in dreams, but now, she could clearly make out every detail she could recall. Her artwork was still displayed just as she remembered… but unlike that evening, there were no people around so she could walk around in peace.

Being able to see everything again was… nice, especially since she wanted to see that artist’s paintings again. It made her feel… nostalgic in some way that she didn’t really understand. Something reminded her of home when she took it all in… and she honestly regretted how she still didn’t have a pen to draw out a reference for herself later.

After admiring the mysterious artist’s work, Eira eventually she finds herself back in the vestibule where she remembers where she first met him – by her favourite painting that was dedicated to Mythal and justice. She would have to admit that she was grateful for going to the Arvlathan for the experience though… She usually didn’t pray to the gods for guidance because of her bond to Mythal. Eira knew that she served her and didn’t really see the point to thank the Creator very often if her every action she made was for her in some way. Still, she kneels and offers a prayer up to the goddess of love and justice for her thanks. Mythal may not have given her a choice then, but the opportunity that she had been given that night…. She didn’t regret even not saying anything then.

Her concentration however is disrupted when she hears voices nearby and… footsteps?

“Clan Lavellan said that the one you were asking of died… something about how she caused a disaster during an excursion in some ruins out west, so they didn’t know who you were referring to, much to their regret.”

“I remember. One of the many who sought my favour with their candidate…though I must say it was… regretful to hear of the death… and the other?”

The echoes of a voices off the corridors of the hallways made her frown. On occasion spirits in her dreams would speak of some event that she couldn’t remember or gave insight on the future, but that was rare. Sometimes they’d also tell show her things if strong feelings were being experienced by someone else elsewhere regarding her… Was someone looking for her?

“As for the art dealer… it’s unfortunately known that she doesn’t live in any of the People’s settlements. In addition, she was last reportedly seen on the fringes of Elvhenan if that is to believed, so it will be difficult to ask her about the woman you are searching for Fen'Har- oh my.”

The steps stop and she could clearly see two men enter from one end of the vestibule.

“Da’len?” He wore the same outfit and mask that she remembered seeing him in… Likely because she was certain that even though it was her dream, this image she had of him was the only one she had.

The person accompanying him glanced at her for a moment before turning back towards him with a quick bow. “I will take my leave.”

“Hahren?” Seeing a person quite literally disappear from her sight did nothing to alleviate her confusion as she finds the lack of strength to move. It didn’t help that she didn’t feel like she was in the presence of spirits or demons either, which only added to her bewilderment at the situation… Then again, Cole didn’t exactly feel like a normal spirit either and he showed up in her dreams from time to time. “I’m definitely imagining things aren’t I…”

“You’re her.” Her smile is a bit bitter as she watches him approach her in silence before pulling her in close. There was the same warmth and comfort that she had felt then. “You wanted to see me.”

“I… guess I did.” Her eyes dart away at that when he lets go. That was truer than she wanted to admit, and her comment causes the same smile to appear on his face that she remembered. They sit down on the floor before she shakes her head to remind her how things weren’t exactly real here. In the Beyond it was always easier for her to talk to spirits than actual people in reality. “I wish I could have said that that night… At least I’m didn’t dream of there being more people now, or I wouldn’t have been able to even say that… I’ve never been able to say anything in answering something so… earnest.”

He laughs at that and tilts his head, asking for more details as he holds her hand and lets her lean on his shoulder. “I’m just not good dealing with… recognition if that makes any sense. I just… have a hard time seeing how people recognize me for… _me,_ and who _I am_. It’s just…” Eira closes her eyes for a moment as she lets out a sigh. She had always been insecure about how the likes of her could earn praise because of her own actions. Something about how she had once been chosen for a fate she had no say in that was heedless of her own identity of _‘Eira Lavellan’_ , when she was doing her best to define who she was now beyond just her being a nobody selected for some duty that she didn’t care for, and whose purpose of _existence_ was originally meant for someone else. “I don’t know.”

“I understand, da’len.” She honestly doubted that, but hearing it from him made her feel… better. “There will always be a burden on the one whose name is replaced by a title.”

“Well in my case it wasn’t really a title… but yes like that...” Her voice is filled with pain as she murmurs. She never really talked about her inadequacies, even with Cole, but it felt… easier to do so now.

“It takes great courage to admit and confront your weaknesses, da’len, and from what I can see, you are quite capable by herself.” 

“You’re just saying that, hahren….” Her consciousness had always been good at finding excuses for herself, regardless if the words did help her a bit. 

“I speak the truth, da’len.” He shakes his head and she sees that sly smile on his face that made her heart jump a beat. “Especially if you’re the one who managed to somehow intrude on _my_ dream.”

_“…What?”_

* * *

She wakes with a start.

Her palms are shaky and her heart was racing. Well, racing more than usual.

She had… _I did what?! “_ Creators…. Please, _please_ , tell me that I just had a bad dream…” The idea that she somehow found herself in someone else’s dream? She wasn’t even one of the Dreamers! It was impossible to think….

“You had a very good dream, Eira. I don’t understand why you want to say that it was bad when it wasn’t.” Cole. She nearly frowned at him out of reflex. It was too early for him to be poking around her head, even if his actions were solely from his good intentions. “You saw someone that you wanted to see, and you were happy to see him, even if you didn’t know that it was actually him until the end.”

“…Yes, Cole I know…” Her hand rubs her temples lightly as she lets out a sigh. If she had known it was him she should have asked him about the magic on her hand, but it hadn’t done anything really while she dreamt. There was also the issue of how Varania had stolen pages from the venue owner’s books that she didn’t really want to mention too... “I can’t believe this though. I saw him in the Beyond…”

Her heart sinks for a moment as she recalls their conversation. If she had known it was the hahren from before, she wouldn’t have mentioned her in incompetencies. She liked how he referred to her as da’len, but she couldn’t find it in herself to trust just anyone with who she was given her past… “You are afraid of letting someone heal your hurt. He wants to help though….your spirit touches his. Also, you really like him.”

“…I know Cole, but I’m not ready. I have a life… and it’s a good one. I can do without an… admirer that I somehow managed to see in the Beyond. Or _a…crush_ of sorts.” She shakes her head as if to dispel those thoughts. “I promise you can try talking to me about it later, but not right now. I need to go wake the others and get everything ready. We’re supposed to be leaving soon. Just… please don’t ever repeat that around Varania, she’ll never let me hear the end of it…”

“Okay.” Cole thankfully agrees as she watches him walk away. He’d probably go and take the last bit of bread that had been allocated for him to feed whatever birds and small animals were still in the area. It was… interesting to know how despite him being spirit of flesh and bone, he didn’t require sustenance like they did and only needed the pull of songs.

“Well then… I’d better get to it.” There were a number of things that she still had to help get pack away, in addition to erasing the traces of their presence from their temporary campsite. If they were lucky everything would be ready in an hour’s time for their departure, and it was, anything would be a welcome distraction from her straying thoughts…

* * *

“Are you ready yet, Varania?” Eira calls her friend as soon as her staff and her easel are in hand. They’re the only two things not secured to her back. One is too large to be secured to her pack while the other is something she refuses to out of her sight. Fenris had told her that the advantage of a weapon could make the difference between life and death, and she knew that fact all too well. 

“I’m almost done!” There’s a small crash as Varania frantically tries to tie a number of flask to her bags and she can only smile futilely at her. Out of all of them, she had the most amount of stuff, and most of it included her implements that she used in her various experiments.

“You’ve been saying that for an hour now sister….” Fenris groaned as he helped grabbed a number of her belongings that were intertwined together somehow. He would usually end up carrying half of her things given how he had the least amount of belongings and how disorganized she was… but he only took the ‘less-likely-to-be-broken.’ If they ever got attacked he would the first to enter the fray and drop everything as the group’s only warrior. Eira would be the second as her magic studies were more diverse and destructive as Varania’s magic was more suited for support and hindering their enemies. The two however did make it a point to study healing magicks since there was no telling what could happen if one of them was ever knocked unconscious.   

“Not helping brother!”

“Can’t you just conjure up something that lets you carry everything? Or ask spirits to assist you?” There’s another groan and she knows that Fenris’s patience is waning from the comment.

“Eira says this isn’t a task that she likes asking spirits for help with, so no!” Varania knew how she didn’t even ask Cole to help out beyond a small bag that he liked to carry various trinkets in and the occasional loaf of bread and bundle of berries. She treated spirits as she did people – with respect, and she would never make such a request of a stranger…. Also, the two mages knew better than to treat magic as the answer to everything. There were just some things one had to do on their own. “Almost ready, I swear!”

Considering how they literally carried their lives on their backs it was a miracle to always manage to move everything together so that they could get on with travelling. They usually didn’t stay in one place for more than a few weeks for safety, and to prevent themselves to be lulled into a false sense of security. There would always be danger present in Elvhenan wherever they went, regardless if they didn’t actively seek it out at times though the ‘seeking out’ was mainly Eira’s fault since nearly all the ruins visited were infested with giant spiders…

There was something that just felt… magical about journeying into areas their People had abandoned. Most of them were tended to be temples, either lost or destroyed, from when the Creators warred, but there was always knowledge to be obtained that escaped destruction. The People built things to last, and their magic remained strong against the test of time.

“All right, done!” Varania is somehow juggling half a dozen bags across her arms and back, with half of them being strapped to another. Given her expression she hadn’t slept last night after she had been handed the various notes on lyrium… “So where are we headed to?”

“A settlement by the name of Ostagar…. North of it however, there is small village that is… more of a trading post apparently since most of the People do not stay there for too long. We will be better off staying there.” Fenris speaks with a bit of exasperation as he helps Eira with hiding some of the last remnants of the traces them ever living out here. His sister was unfortunately usually not on time, despite the fact that they always planned around it and somehow actually always left on time.

“Can’t we stay at least for Satinalia? We never really celebrate that anymore…” Varania has a small pleading tone as she gazes at them. She was never one to turn away from partying…or celebrating if she had the excuse to. They did have relatively unsociable lives…so the request wasn’t really unexpected. “Pleaseee?”

“It’s Umbarlis soon?” Eira had long since given up trying to keep track of the days and only really cared about Verimensis’s First Day. That was the only day of the year she cared about since she associated it their supposed birthdays since that was the day that they had all found each other. “Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt… Fenris?”

“It is acceptable.”

 _“Besides,_ we need to celebrate to help Eira find someone else to help her move on past that fancy noble!” Varania’s extra comment made it very difficult for Eira to not roll her eyes. She for one, did _not_ want to be end up in anyone's dream again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … While I have some unspoken rule that I tend to follow about always trying to write about the relatively same amount of content per chapter as the first one in the story, the next chapter will probably be a short one… because I’m going to write someone else’s pov.  
> This story will mostly be from Eira’s perspective but every so often I’m thinking of doing snippets for other characters…? 
> 
> i'm also debating what I should do with the warden. I realllly like the wardens from origin but my canon is the human male mage.... who romances Morrigan. alternatively I might just jam in whichever wardens I feel like... because I like the idea of happy endings with as many characters possible.


	3. All the Better to See You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'mysterious stranger' chapter! and yeah its shorter than what I usually write for chapters in this.... sorry..! next one will be back to the normal jumbo block of text...
> 
> and im sticking with da:o's magic trees for the most part i think

“Thank the Creators for this being one of my dreams again.” His ears perk up immediately as hears her voice nearby as he carefully walks through the Beyond in his wolf form. It had taken a while given her location to finally track down his magic following her appearance at the Arlathvhan… longer than he wanted to admit. Shape-shifters and dreamers were rare among the People so he hopes that she won’t be so alarmed this time if she suspected he was more than what he appeared. He had to admit though, it was… almost amusing knowing that she really seemed almost terrified at the idea she had somehow found herself in his dream. There were countless others he knew of who would have leaped at the chance to find themselves in his dream.

“Well then, I should probably go over see if I can check this route before we use it…” She was sitting at a desk with an incomplete wolf carving on top of it and it looked like she was studying a map of sorts in what he could only guess was an inn of sorts given the number of belongings that looked tightly packed together and all in one corner. It gave the impression of someone… who didn’t seem like someone who had a home to call her own. Almost hesitantly, he knocks on the door of the room since he knows it would be easier for her to deal with his appearance with warning as opposed to suddenly seeing the appearance of a giant wolf that was nearly her size in her dreams.

Hesitantly she turns, and almost immediately frowns as he sees that her face is still covered with a mask, though this time he could barely catch the glimpse of vallaslin marring her face… likely Mythal’s. Her manner of dress was also significantly bolder and she had more skin exposed than last time and was wearing a fairly short dress with thin straps with cloak and a red hood over her head which prevented him from seeing most of her flowing hair. Actually her whole outfit was a shade red. Dark red… and it gave her a more seductive appearance than he would admit. He still didn’t have a face to match with the name _Lavellan,_ but then again, neither did she.

“Oh, Mythal…. I swear this is a week of firsts for me. First kiss, first time ending up in someone else’s dream, first Satinalla in a while, first time getting _waaay_ too drunk in a really long time… and now first time seeing a giant wolf. _In a dream!_ I don’t suppose you’re here because of this are you?” Given the way she rubs her left hand nervously, he guessed that she wasn’t comfortable with the idea of bearing such a gift of honour from him. She had his Anchor under a glove, hidden from sight. He was accustomed to others wanting both his favour and him, himself, and she had spurned that…. It was intriguing. Most of People he met were only too eager to sleep with him and be bedded by him, but he knew she was… different.

“Are you one of Fen’Harel’s creatures? I usually don’t find wolves or animals in the Beyond… but then again, nothing has been usual for me lately. At least you don’t have six eyes. I _really_ don’t need more attention from anyone else who can walk in the Beyond freely.” The idea she has about his supposed appearance in the Beyond makes him chuckle given the People’s beliefs in the Dread Wolf’s appearance. Depictions of him in this form usually had him with six eyes, if there were any of him.

He shakes his head as she stares with obvious curiosity in her eyes. Tentatively, she reaches out with her hand to ask if she’s okay to touch him, and he finds himself nuzzling her palm to which causes an immediate smile to crease onto her face. Mythal would be laughing at his behaviour right now if she was watching. He could feel that she was touched by familiar magic although he wasn’t completely certain if its power was as great as the mark he bestowed upon her. It didn’t feel very… _loud_ though so it suggested that the magic had been on her long time. He hadn’t been able to confirm it the time he had seen her physical form since they were surrounded by equally powerful and similar magicks in Arlathan… and her own magic also felt strong.

“Well at least you’re mostly friendly… I don’t suppose you’d care to accompany for a walk then? We’re heading somewhere new soon so I need to double check the area for anything… unwanted. Especially since we haven’t decided if we’ve decided to try our luck with an eluvian.” He nods as she picks the ethereal version of a staff as she walks out of the inn with him next to her. It was… disturbing to consider that she had pursuers despite her almost… uncaring attitude towards the fact.

They’re in an Elvhen city of wood and stone that he guesses that was far on the outskirts of Elvhenan surrounded by woods given the lack of visible nearby settlements. It also unfortunately meant that he didn’t recognize any landmarks, though he finds that he likes the idea of her denying him. She would never be able to truly run since she was marked by his magic…. But was it wrong for him to want to know her and for her to know him…?

They walk in silence for the most part in the city and she keeps on checking behind her to see that he is still following… or it might be appropriate to see if she had anyone else following. She seemed to be anticipating others to show up at any time, and it makes him wonder who she expected.

“All right then.” Her voice is quiet as they enter the forest. He can feel her concentrating her gathering mana and magic as they continue for a distance. She has an uncanny sense of direction as they traverse through the woods, and a short time later they see another village, though significantly smaller, a fair way out in the distance. “Time to see if there are any surprises waiting for me…”

She concentrates on manipulating the Beyond and immediately he feels a drop in temperature. She’s creating… a blizzard? Frost forms on the trees nearby as the winds pick up around him, and snow and ice begin to start falling. It’s a rare mastery of the elements he hasn’t seen in a while.

It… her magic actually makes him feel colder and he inadvertently shivers. She laughs for a moment before pulls the bow hanging by her neck to release her cloak and unveil her dark hair.  What happens next is unexpected for him since she throws it over his body, placing the hood over his head, with a smile but the movement reveals several scars on her back that he hadn’t noticed earlier. She lets out another wave of her magic her eyes examine their surroundings. He can tell her concentration is on maintaining both spells and she keeps one hand up as if she were focusing on sensing any other magic that might work against hers. “Might as well say that this is also the first time I’ve seen a wolf who actually gets cold and might not really like winter?”

He gives her the most incredulous look possible as his gaze switches between her and her outfit as he circles her. While it was true that this wasn’t _physically_ her, she had enough skin exposed to make one question if that was all she wore during an actual snowfall… in a sense. “What this? My friend wanted me to look as _desirable_ tonight, and I do dress appropriately for the weather.” The way the word rolls off her tongue makes him feel… jealous as he finds himself wondering whose attention she was vying for, especially since she talks with a slight smirk on her face. “Then I somehow ended up drinking too much in the company of other people.”

He inadvertently lets out a growl at that which causes her chuckle. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Red doesn’t match my eyes. Don’t know if you can tell but they’re green….a book I read says that dogs can’t see colour apparently so I don’t know if wolves can’t either… and it was for a party. _Anyway._ She got this brilliant idea for me to celebrate Satinalla like this, trying to find me a hunter… or huntress worthy of me or something, which on some levels worked. I mean I had an interesting time, met new people and got really drunk… but that is what the disguise is for. Getting away with positively seductive behaviour and not worrying about it tomorrow.” Her voice is patient as she explains though that still causes him to growl again, though louder this time. _This time_ however, he’s rewarded with her _laugher_ in response. Laughter at him. In his face no less. “Hey, I’m not a wolf! The People aren’t exactly bound to one partner you know, but I’ll have you know _ma fen_ , that I only intend to have one significant other all right? Though I’m not sure if that’s an urban legend.” She pauses for a moment and she rolls her eyes. “I can’t believe I just said that to some Beyond wolf or wolf who’s somehow managed to get into the Beyond. That sounded better in my head… then again, I’ve never heard of jealousy from big, bad wolves.”

Her voice stops again as she clears her throat. “Besides, I already have a sort of wolfish sort of friend who took it upon himself to look after both me and my friend.” He did remember that the spirit had mentioned two others… they were likely her travelling companions. The idea that she was being looked after helped his mood though he had would have preferred if he was he one doing that.

“….All right then. I can’t sense anyone else’s magic in the area up ahead so I should be good.” There’s a relieved look on her face as she lets out a sigh. “Just need to worry about bounty hunters now...” His eyes are filled with worry and he frowns as much as he can in this form when she mention bounty hunters. Did she get involved in something dangerous? Or was it one of her companions?

He nudges her slightly for more information, to which she just shakes her head. “It’s no big deal really, and I’m not just saying that. Bounty hunters are nowhere near as worrisome as Sentinels.” She had earned the ire of one of the Evanuris? Her expression doesn’t show any trace of fear but fear but sadness at her mentioning of the priests. She did mention that she lived in a temple before… “Sentinels are easier for me to identify though since they have a tendency to leave out magic in the area… traps or otherwise. If anything fights against my spell in the Beyond… mage or magic, I’ll know it’s one of them.”

There’s an almost vacant look in her eyes for a moment which disappears when she shakes her head. “What was I saying…?” Her brow furrows for a moment as a hand rubs her temple. He felt it for a moment, but some magic inside her caused her disorientation. Magic he’s certain that had to be from one of the People with a similar stature to him given the complexity of it but he wouldn’t be able to determine it unless he actually found her. If it meant helping her, he would throw his pride away to appeal to the other Evanuris.

“Sorry. I get dizzy spells when I feel like I’m going to wake up sometimes. I should probably do that now.” Her smile is gentle as she gently strokes the side of his face. “You have pretty eyes you know that? They remind me of someone… for some reason.” Her presence was fading, meaning her consciousness was also stirring. “If I ever see him again I’ll tell you about it. Alternatively, if I ever see you again I might not. My business and all.”

He watches her with a smirk, or at least the best smirk he can manage in his current form as he watched her disappear from his sight. He had the means to protect her… and perhaps he would tell her next time. After all, the Dread Wolf _did_ have her scent now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i will be bringing in tabris in this story. and merril. and... marethari. and soon.
> 
> also i'm going to do more mysterious fade-walker and perhaps other characters for alternate pov chapters every now and then but i haven't determined when every now and then is. will aim for maybe after every other two.


	4. Be our Guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merril and M!Mahriel joined the party! Sorry no tabris. Haven’t forgotten about him/her though. Think im leaning towards f!tabris and f!Surana… and with making M!Mahriel and Tabris both rogues… and sorry I meant to upload this sooner… but I was swamped in homework… and still am. this is my November update... SORRY ITS A WEEK LATE!!
> 
> ...anyway ill still be writing anther chapter this month. after exams though. they start this week for me... *cries* lol.
> 
> mostly a slow chapter?

“…Just one more drink. I promise it’ll be the last one…” Eira has a small smile on her face as she watches her friend murmur in her sleep. She couldn’t hold her liquor any better than Varania, and had indulged herself last night as well. While she had better control over herself and knew when to stop most of the time, she had really wanted to try forgetting about the weird things that happened to her for a few hours at least. The decision probably wasn’t the greatest since that just meant she’d sleep significantly earlier as she had been well-disciplined in acknowledging her body’s own limits and abilities, so even when she went over her limit she remained coherent enough to know when to sleep so that she would still wake up at the crack of dawn. Some things from her training always stayed with her.

The room… rather, lobby of the inn they were in was a complete wreck to say in the least, and the rest of the inn was thankfully faring better, but not by much. In the main area, half of the tables were against the wall or broken, some unknown substance had been smeared to the ceiling, most of the furniture was missing or precariously positioned in the stairwell, and there were People slumped over every surface in every corner of the room sleeping.

The scene hadn’t changed much since Eira had left it in the morning to purchase some supplies since they planned on heading down the road to the road to that village that she had seen in her dreams last night. It was an odd dream to find a wolf unlike the spirit wolves seen occasionally, but he had been good quiet company, and he wasn’t one of _them_. Fenris and Varania thankfully wouldn’t be needing to worry about her pursuers. It was always a bit harder for them to deal with them as Eira did not want to see them dead.

They had ultimately decided to spend a few days in the city to pay their respects to shines erected for the gods in the city, and to barter a bit with the visiting clan for any information about the journey they had travelled before setting out, well rather it was what Eira had recommended even though she was the only one who engaged in worship occasionally. There was some People that would take great offence if they didn’t, and it was usually worse with those that lived in clans since they occasionally set up their own places of worship out in the wilderness.

Eira always took great care in how she acted about with the more nomadic People. They were prouder, more arrogant, and were significantly more difficult to deal with since she had to take extra care with her identities. No one needed to know that she had caught the interest of an actual noble, or that her work was also apparently favoured by the nobles of Arlathan… not to mention ‘Eres’ was also being looked for as well in order to find a certain Lavellan who had died. She did have hopes though about the Sabrae clan though and was confident that they weren’t going to be pressing her with questions about who she was. One of the sleeping bodies tangled in the mess of People was from the Sabrae clan, and he seemed… charming. Or at least enough to get Varania to smile.

Unlike her friend however, she would never tease someone over how she interacted with others, even if she really wanted to. Like both Eira and Fenris, Varania had issues with letting people close. She had lost a friend to get where she was now, and was unsure if she was even alive any more. It was one of the reasons why she refused to settle down as she always hoped that her friend was still out there, and that she would one day find her. Fenris had mentioned once that Varania’s friend was one of the People who escaped with her from whatever dilemma in the north before circumstances separated them.

Their situation occasionally made Eira wonder what happened to them before they met, but she wasn’t one to pry. It was enough to know that her friends had their own reasons for them always travelling, and didn’t feel coerced into it given her understanding of their personalities. Fenris in particular had a great sense of responsibility in paying debts that he believed he owed, and he did feel like he owed her for the intervention that she made when they met, just like the woman who had helped them get away from whatever hell they were in.

“You’re back.” She’s greeted by Fenris as she walks into their room. They only paid for two rooms, and the two had shared one mainly to ensure that their things would be watched, as literally everything they owned was there, and because Eira had told him that she would be ‘ _scouting’_ out their path in the Beyond. As a precaution and necessity whenever she did that, Fenris would usually end up watching her to ensure that nothing happened. While the Beyond was where spirits roamed freely and the environment mimicked their world in dreams, there were still demons to worry about, and if anything did happen to her, she could trust him to respond accordingly before anything happened. Fenris had no wish to burden Varania with the situation should it ever arise.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” While her tone is apologetic, they both know that he was always extremely alert regardless of his state of consciousness. It tended to be worse in unfamiliar environments that weren’t out in the wilderness. He probably heard her approach from when coming up to the second floor where the rooms were located. Fenris had a slight fatigued look in his eyes as he sat slumped against a number of their bags. He could literally sleep in _any_ position, and against nearly anything. He could even sleep standing up, and as such, she had been granted usage of the bed which could easily have been shared between four people given its size. The action wasn’t surprising in itself given that she knew how Fenris hardly ever placed himself first. It was a… failing of his that she hoped he would change one day.

“It’s… all right. I couldn’t really get any sleep.” His brow furrows for a moment and he glances at the desk. He really wants to change the subject. She had only left him an hour ago since he had stayed up all night, and only after talking about their next course of action before leaving him so he could get some sleep. “…You started carving a wolf?”

“Yeah… it’s going to be a small one.” Eira hadn’t known why she begun carving a wolf of all things. Perhaps it was from her sense of unrequitedness and because of how she remembered her… _hahren._ It was a silly notion she had told herself since there was no way that someone could actually be a wolf… Even shape-shifters knew better than to assume the form of one of the gods, especially since the last time it happened, the person in question was judged by the leader of the Evanuris himself… “Though I have to say, seeing a wolf in my dream the day after I started working on it… I’m not sure if someone is trying to give me a sign or something.”

“It wasn’t one of your… Sentinels was it?”

“ _No_ , no. No. We’re good there. Relax Fenris… We’ll be good for a few days at the very least before I need to check again… and by then we’ll have started making our way to the village north of here.”

“I see…. By the way, did my sister say anything to you last night?”

Eira gives him a careful glance as she scrutinizes his expression. Fenris was a bit overprotective with his sister despite his efforts to not come across as such. Or at least not when the person in question was around. “She might have. What exactly were you thinking about?”

“I was… she..?” Fenris lets out a sigh as he pulls himself up. “Do you think she’ll want to stay? I haven’t seen her that happy in a while… or ever.”

“You know you worry about this every time she ends up enjoying herself a little bit while in someone else’s company right? Just because she doesn’t mean that she’ll immediately jump at the opportunity to stay. You know that.” She has a sympathetic smile on her face as she reassures her friend. “I did find out a little bit about him though. His name’s Taren Mahriel. From the Sabrae clan. Reputation for being a bit of an adventurous rogue of sorts. Likes exploring but…”

“But what?”

“He’s technically one of the hunters who works closely with the First of his clan, but she’s apparently…. a bit… odd.” Eira purses her lips for a moment. While information obtained through the exchange of stories, news was usually limited and gave little insight and bordered on gossip, it had had been unusually easy to learn about the Sabrae clan from the locals. That usually meant trouble from either someone or something that had disrupted the city residents enough so that they felt like they didn’t care who they were telling.

The People of the cities and clans traditionally kept each other at a safe distance. They respected their practices and made a point to just not cause the other group any hassle… so it was considerably odd for Eira to actual hear complaining. “The First allegedly has gotten lost every day in the city, and she’s… intent on some project of hers that her clan doesn’t particularly agree with. Something about an arulin'holm, an eluvian or lyrium? Or all of those?” Eira shakes her head. She didn’t really know anything else. “Anyway, you better get some sleep. I’m going to grab Varania and get her to freshen up. She didn’t give her name last night as usual, so that hunter won’t know who she is exactly. Doesn’t mean that he won’t be able to recognize her, but it’ll be better if she’s still not wearing the same outfit from last night.”

Eira quickly retreats out of the room as if to deny Fenris the chance to comment.

* * *

“….How bad was I?’ There’s a certain adorableness to Varania’s nervousness as she asks her about her performance last night as she changes out of the costume she was wearing into her something else.

“Relax, Varania. It wasn’t that bad.” Eira smiles as she just rolls her eyes. It was typical for her friend to worry excessively.

“From what I’ve seen from you, last night was… considerably tame for you. Though I am going to say… you certainly captivated someone’s eyes as opposed to what you _intended_ lethallan.

“Sorry!” The tips of her ears and cheeks are flushed pink as Varania covers her face.

“Don’t apologize, Varania! It’s all right… And to think you were trying to hook me up with someone.” It’s the only teasing she’s allow herself to get away with. “Anyway, I think he left sometime after I brought you back to your room. I’m… going to go visit the clan. Do you want to come?”

“I…. _yes_. Please. I think I want to…” Her friend’s gaze is going left and right. Eira knows that her friend was able to almost perfectly recall every action she performed last night with clarity despite her state of incoherentness then, so she didn’t need to say anything. Like her, Varania had never had a real significant other since their lives always kept them on the move. Always searching.

“What did you introduce yourself as?”

“Nerys. Nerys… Surana.” Eira frowns a bit at that. She didn’t know a Surana but the name was incredibly important to her friend according to her brother.

“His clan encountered those… other people before, and I thought that there was the chance that they might have seen her…. But no one last night recognized it anyway so it doesn’t matter.” Varania’s expression is distant for a second before she shakes her head. “Anyway, are you planning on offering something to the Sabrae?”

“Yes. Something I prepared beforehand… though not the latest piece I’ve been working on.” Her incomplete statuette on the desk holds her thoughts for a moment. The Dread Wolf apparently liked statues of wolves…. or that was at least the impression she had from her travels. An offering to any clan that could curry the Dread Wolf’s favour would earn them a significant amount of standing with any clan… but something inside her mind tells her not to for some reason. An unusual gut feeling because it would make her more easily located. Somehow, no matter how unlikely…. Still, Eira did keep a number of trinkets that could be used for the same purpose to gain favour from clans… and she wasn’t finished it yet anyway though she could complete it in the few days before they left… “A halla carving. I figured something of Ghilan’nain’s creatures will be okay since they watch over those who cross across Elvhenan…”

“…Hopefully this clan will be better than the last one we crossed paths with.”

\---

Introductions with the Sabrae clan proceed smoothly enough before Eira and Varania. No obvious heads are turned when they introduce themselves, and Eira is partly uncertain if that has anything to do with the person who she catches out of the corner of her eye watching her best friend with a very nervous expression plastered to his face. Despite their outsider status, both of them find it easy to converse and talk to the Sabrae, and that’s before presenting them with their gift. It’s well appreciated and accepted by the clan’s Keeper – Marethari, and she informally recognizes them as friends to the clan.

It’s a simple invitation to trade news and stories that Eira eagerly takes, giving Varania a legitimate excuse to go off and do her own thing. Her friend knows that she’s always appreciated fine attention to detail and the effort craftsmen put into their work. She even has a small collection of various tokens from clans that she’s crossed paths with and every clan had their own unique signatures to their craftsmanship that she loved to admire.

She hears about an unknown settlement in the western mountains, werewolves in the eastern forests and has managed to barter for a small carved box with intricate designs before Eira finally looks around for Varania. She finds her in a city library after asking for directions from the clan’s Keeper in the late evening. She’s more than eager to get away from Keeper Marethari given how the woman looks like she’s studying her.

“-it’s true! You can’t honestly tell me that you believe such a thing! There’s no conclusive evidence!

“There’s irrefutable proof from that if you use enough of lyrium, depending on the state the substance is in, you can send yourself… well your consciousness into the Beyond! How can you not have heard that?”

“The gods have denied that being the case, Elgar’nan! Where is your information coming from?”

“Arlathan!”

“Well mine is too! …Though it’s third-hand!”

“It does have other uses aside from ruin tracing! I can’t believe you’ve never tried experimenting with it when you had the opportunity to! There are other things beyond what the information gets passed around that no one talks about!”

“They would have publicized something like that if it could benefit the People!”

“Merril, that’s not necessarily true…” Eira listens to the scene unfolding nearby with slight amusement in her eyes as she navigates through the maze of giant bookshelves. Evidently the People were still in the dark about a lot of things. The fact that she and her friends did not belong to a clan hardly helped their credibility despite knowing more that then what was generally accepted as fact. The gods didn’t tell their followers everything, and had a great number of truths hidden for their own benefit.

What really sticks out about Varania’s conversation partner when she final finds them is that she had designs on her face, that weren’t exactly… normal tattoos. Most of the free Peoples in clans didn’t partake in vallaslin... unlike the many People who did in the city who served nobles, but still some did get tattoos. The woman’s- Merril’s, didn’t resemble any pattern for one of the Evanuris that she could recognize so it might have meant that she had based her design off of something or someone else. Someone living in a clan would have a higher chance of being aware of the significance of the vallaslin though she knew that most were in the dark about the truth, so it was always odd for her to see someone that had something that resembled it given clan traditions to not get them in the first place.

“Ah, Lavellan. I was… wondering when you’d show up. ” While her friend has that spark in her eyes that she had whenever she engaged in somewhat academic conversation, she had given her the signal to be cautious and not really comment on anything. They had worked out a series of simple hand gestures and phrases to use in case they ever needed to communicate anything any of them had to be warned about. Usually they were only ever used in the presences of nobles though…

“Sorry.” It takes a small moment for her to compose herself. “What exactly have you been up to?”

“Well… Tamen and I were talking about…the different places we’ve seen and how that we’ve been to a number of places that he’s never seen since he travels with a clan… and Merril and I were just comparing notes.” She lets out a long but excruciating sigh that she recognizes, though there are lingering hints of longing in her voice. “…She’s the First to the Sabrae clan.”

“Pleased to meet you both.” Eira offers up a quick reply as she still can recall the conversations that she had with the people she had spoken to earlier in the day. There were rumours that her magic was… not the kind that was usually practiced.

“Pleased to meet you as well, lethallan! So you’re names’s Lavellan? I’m Merril. Though you just learned that. The Keeper mentioned something about how some missive was sent out about how if a clan bumped in someone named Lavellan to watch you for a while… or something to that effect. I don’t really remember.” Merril’s expression is disturbingly cheery despite Eira’s inward sinking feeling. She knows that _they_ wouldn’t do such a thing, so that meant she had a new pursuer of sorts? “Well, Nerys said you’d be in the city for a while so I don’t think that will be a problem. You will be staying for a while right? I still have more things I want to talk about with her!”

“Ah. Yes. We do plan on staying for a while.” Varania’s smile is a bit forced as she nods her head. There was no way they’d be staying any longer, and they both knew it. “Anyway, Tamen…”

“Right. I’m Tamen. Tamen Mahariel. Nerys told me a lot about you, Lavellan. She says you explore ruins… and I’d love to join you one of these days.” Tamen’s comment catches her slightly off-guard. Was he asking for her permission to accompany them? Eira immediately shoots a glance to her friend who has unfortunately decided to seem oblivious.

_Oh boy…_

It’s all she can do not to groan, but still…. she doesn’t like the idea of anyone coming with them unless that was that they truly wanted. “If you really want to… stop by the inn we’re staying at later to discuss it later tonight…. before midnight. We don’t exactly lead relatively _safe_ lives, and wouldn’t want anyone to join us unless they truly wished to.”

“I will do that later. Thank you.” His voice is soft as a small smile comes across his face. “Tonight.” He and Varania share warm, knowing glances that Eira pretends not to notice, though now she was slightly regretting turning it in early last night and spending so much time away from her friend. She probably lost out on a significant amount of extra teasing material.

“…You should probably check to see if it’s okay with your clan though.” The last thing they needed was _four_ separate entities looking for them...not that hearing that she was being looked for by someone had the power to influence clans in general helped either.

“Tamen already has permission to leave. He’s been wanting to do that for a while now actually. After what happened with the incident with an eluvian out east….Oops, we’re not supposed to talk about that. Sorry. Could you pretend not to hear that?” Merril clasps her hands over her mouth as the person in question grits his teeth, before waving her hands around frantically. “All he really has to do is check in with the Keeper.”

“…Which I’m going to now… thank you very much, Merril.” Tamen’s obviously annoyed as he gazes at his assumed friend. “You should probably head back now too.”

“Well, we should be doing that as well. One of our friends will be wondering where we are as well.” Eira gives the pair a short bow before she and Varania wave farewell. “I’d advise you visit us as soon as possible with anything you’d want to keep. Our circumstances are… very likely to change.”

* * *

“Everything is in order here.”

“Same here, Fenris. Any sign of your prince charming Varania?” It hadn’t taken them long to organize their belongings again as they got ready to leave. They hardly ever unpacked anything save essentials unless they were planning on staying in an area for more than a week, depending on the season.

“No… not yet.” She’s sitting by her room’s windowsill, looking outside and exchanging nervous glances with her brother. Fenris didn’t really like strangers in general and while he had relented easily once asked by her to consider, she knew that he had his doubts. “I hope he’ll get here soon…”

“We’re running out of time. In about an hour, it’ll be impossible to find our way in the dark to the next village.” Using torchlight in the middle of the night was just asking for someone to take notice them like how moths were drawn to a flame.

“I know…!” She’s biting her lip as she turns away. They had a lot of distance to cover since staying at the next village was also no longer an option given the proximity to where they were now, and clans typically travelled faster than they could. “Oh, wait, I see him!”

“I’ll head down and bring him up. Make sure all your things are together.” Varania nods immediately at her brother’s directions. He probably wanted to give Tamen a stern brotherly warning about doing anything to his sister as well… without her around. “We are to be leaving shortly after.”

\---

They’re both packed and ready when Fenris reappears with a significantly more nervous version of the man that Eira formally met earlier, and she can’t help but smirk. Typical Fenris.

“Tamen! I was so worried you weren’t going to make it!” Varania smiles for a moment as she adjusts her bags. “…We actually have to go now.”

“Why?”

“I guess you could say we’re on the run…. Targeted by different groups for different reasons.” Eira swallows before she continues. Part of her is genuinely worried about how he’ll react. “It’s why we never stay in one place long, especially if we hear if that anyone’s watching us… and why none of us hardly use our given names. It’s simply too dangerous for us.” There’s guilt in her best friend’s eyes as she looks away. She would tell him later. “So let me ask you again. Tamen Mahriel. Are you certain you want to come with us? Our lifestyle isn’t exactly safe.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” There’s unquestionable determination in his eyes as he nods his head solemnly. “Though is it okay to ask why your circumstances are like this?”

“We’ll go into details…and our names later.” Eira lets out sigh as they leave the inn. Given that he’s not surprised about them using fake identities meant that Varania may have let that slip earlier. “Per your question, I can’t remember why, but I have Sentinels chasing me… and your clan’s First tipped me off that I’m apparently being hunted by someone new for reasons unknown.”

“And as for me and my brother… we get bounty hunters. Extremely long story.”

“One that will not be shared now.” Fenris isn’t happy in the slightest, though it isn’t because of the new presence. His attention is focused on the city’s northern exit a short distance away. There’s someone standing there, evidently waiting. Instinct tells her to get ready for a confrontation of some kind since it’s the keeper of the Sabrae clan.

The older woman’s hands are on her staff, just as Eira’s hands are on hers. Although Marethari’s outnumbered three to one, if it comes down to a fight, she’s not sure whose side Tamen would join, and it would be a simple matter or the keeper to send her clan after them even if they did best her. “…There was an eluvian in the city right?”

“The site isn’t open now.” Her friend whispers softly as they continue along their path, and taking a detour would cost too much time. “…She’s seen us, what should we do?”

“Let me go first.” Tamen’s expression is hard as he walks forward, and by silent agreement, they proceed with Eira at the rear of the group. Her friends know that she’s been targeted by clans before for different reasons. Usually because they wanted her to be one of their exclusive craftsmen….

“…Keeper.”

“Tamen.” Marethari’s eyes are gentle as she looks to her former clan member. “I have no desire to keep you from where you wish to go da’len but your new companions….” Her gaze sharpens as it sweeps over the rest of them. “I did not expect them to be leaving the city so soon.”

“Things change. _We_ have urgent business elsewhere.”

The woman let out a small sigh as she shakes her head. “And I have no wish to keep you from it, nor do I have any quarrel with any of them, but one of them has been identified as a person of interest by someone the clan has no wish to incur the wrath of.”

“…What has the clan been asked to do exactly?”

“The one known to you as Lavellan… it has been asked of any clan that comes across her to observe her and contact a certain individual via message crystal that I do not have permission to disclose.”

“Does that mean you’ll do anything in your power to ensure that I stay put?” Eira’s eyes narrow as steps out from behind her friends. The idea that whoever was after her had enough political clout to get any clan to do anything was disturbing enough. “I refuse to submit to any surveillance… especially if it’s at the request from anyone that has ties to the nobility.”

“Da’len… I apologize for the situation I’ve put you in, but I have my People’s well-being to consider.”

“Please don’t call me that. There’s only one person that I’m… okay with hearing that from at the moment…” Eira can’t help but frown since she can’t really argue against Marethari’s justification… Still, her mana is getting ready to start taking the heat out of the air in their vicinity. “Does that mean that you’ll do anything in your power to ensure that I stay put?”

“Only if we cannot come to an agreement… though I do not believe you will so easily elude pursuit from our hunters, even if Tamen was the best of them.”

“…What do you propose?” None of them are really keen on the idea of shedding excess blood, particularly Varania though she understood when there truly was no other option.

“I send my First with you, as a representative of the clan to keep observe… in a sense. She has expressed an interest in going on her own journeys… meaning that she will be free to do whatever she wishes, and this will fulfill the clan’s duty to keep you watched as she is my representative. In return, we will only report the sighting of Lavellan and that she is currently on the move with one who is fulfilling our obligation, and state that we have no knowledge of where they will be carrying out such a duty.”

“We’re supposed to just take your word that you’ll keep such a promise?” Fenris raises his brow at that. Out of all of them, he was the least trusting and rightfully so.

“There are few things in this world more powerful than a promise kept. I _will_ honour my words.” Marethari lets out a long sigh as her attention turns back to Eira. “What do you say?”

“….Your terms are… acceptable, though we cannot be held responsible for any of the danger that your First will face with us.” Eira’s really not thinking about hunters or Sentinels when she answers, but rather Fenris who had an extremely justified aversion to a certain school of magic. She’d have to tell him about what she heard about Merril later. For the moment at least he and the others are okay with the idea as she checks their expressions. “Particularly if she engages in a particular magic that is not usually practiced by the People given its danger and the increased likelihood of earning the ire of the gods.”

“…Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear. I think the universe is trying to tell me something since I lost my work SEVEN FREAKIN times. four because of Word problems, and the rest because of computer crashing... *sigh* I should probably just write on my emails cuz it saves automatically... its dreadfully painful when aiming to write 5000ish words per chapter.
> 
> also yeah.. Mahriel's name is a bit too similar to Tamlen but Tamen is sorta what I used when I did my first dalish playthrough. never bothered thinking of a different name... oh wellz!


	5. Beauty from a Beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* yeah this is late and im still in a rough spot right now. trying to move forward.
> 
> posting 2 chapters now.

_“See this da’len?”_

_Her entire body feels uneasy as she nods. She wasn’t directly behind his back right now, but rather a short distance away since he had gone out further, but she was a bit too scared to take another step. He knew that she was always a nervous wreck borderline terrified, whenever venturing outdoors and consequently made her head out beyond the temple at least once a month though historically that had been little longer than a few minutes before fear overtook her. Still, even if that was just a few steps further into the Wilds outside the temple walls than what she was used to, she was still scared…. And now he was showing her something new… yet familiar. “Yes…”_

_“This is snow. It arrives with winter… usually in the month of Cassus. Do you remember seeing this before?”_

_“I… don’t know. I think I might have though?” She can’t place the memories of her time before she came here, but it looks… non-threatening anyhow to her eyes. Or at least she doesn’t think that it will swallow her whole or something and whisk her away. Gingerly, she pokes the white substance with a toe and squeals in surprise. “….It’s cold!”_

_He laughs for a moment and pats her gently on her head. “Yes, it is. I’ll have the priests get you some winter clothes if you want to go outside more. You’ll catch a cold if you don’t wear the appropriate attire.”_

_“But I don’t want to hahren!” She pouts for a moment as she looks up at him. Getting new clothes meant that they’d be measuring and poking her as they commented on how much taller she had grown. She was the only child at the temple and her family… as dysfunctional as they were compared to what she could recall from before… they were genuinely nice People though, but had a tendency to pay her way too attention for her comfort. It was so different from what she was used to only a few months ago…_

_“Unless your magic becomes good enough for you not to get sick or cold in this type of weather, you are going to need a jacket, boots and perhaps a scarf, hat and most certainly gloves. The beauty that anything offers is not always without danger.”_

_“But the other priests said that I’m getting better with my magic.” She immediately frowns a bit at that. She hated how he was always right!_

_“You’d be improving more if you weren’t busy always with your mural in the hallways.” He lets out an exaggerated sigh as she feels and sees his magic as he manipulates a small bunch of snow and forms it into a ball. Without any warning, he flings it at her. It was always training to improve with him…_

_“Hey! You said that it looked good!” She’s a bit slow and the snowball almost falls out of her clumsy hands. It’s freezing in her palms and wet, but it’s a nice feeling. ”…And I’ve only done one and barely started the second one!”_

_“It only counts as one unless it’s complete. You won’t be able to make a living off incomplete work in the future, da’len. In the meantime, I reserve the right to call it property damage…” There’s a rare but gentle smile on his face as he shakes his head, though it might be accurate to just say that not having an expression or simply just being grumpy was his default so she’s learned. “It’ll do you good to take a break from it… and spend more time outside.”_

_“…. I understand, hahren…” Dutifully, she nods. There was almost always a catch whenever he suggested anything although she knew he meant what was best for her, even if she couldn’t see it._

_“Good, and you should know you’ve lasted for a quarter of an hour so far outside. Do you… want to head back to the temple now?”_

_It’s a short walk back to the safety of their home and while she’s somewhat familiar with the environment around her, she was still shaking with nervousness. “…I would like that a lot.”_

_She lets out an uneasy sigh of relief as she begins to head back to the temple, but immediately stops as she unfamiliar senses eyes on her and an overpowering presence._

_The bolt of lightning flies faster out of her hand than she can think and sees the bared fangs, and the move is made on complete instinct._

_“Da’len.” He catches her magic almost effortlessly and quickly grounds her spell. Usually he’d be disapproving of her use of magic in such a fashion, but to her surprise, he doesn’t seem concerned or surprised at her actions. “….It’s all right.”_

_“…What… is that?” Her eyes peer cautiously at the creature behind him. It emanated power._

_“This.... he’s a wolf.” For a moment, his brow furrows, though she’s not entirely sure if he did given how calm and collected he was and how hard it was for her to read his expressions sometimes. “I am sorry that he startled you, but I did not expect someone like this to be around… unannounced.”_

_She’s silent as he steps aside to let her see the beast. It looks beautiful though she involuntarily flinches, and her hahren’s words about danger still echo in her ears. It’s huge and probably bigger than her. She’s never seen something like it before, she thinks. Fear doesn’t even begin to describe how overwhelmed she felt in its presence…. And she felt like suffocating at the sheet amount of magic in the air. “Hahren…I…” She almost falls to the ground, but he catches her quickly before that can happen.“It’s all right, da’len.” He lifts her into his arms and she can feel his magic over her skin, enveloping her and protecting her. At least she can breathe again. “Though you should know better than to attack any creature in Mythal’s realms without reason… and it is not necessarily good to act simply on how… scary something looks or feels.”_

_“M’sorry.” When it came down to it, even though she was being taught to never use her magic without provocation, she could at least acknowledge how instinct trumped that for now and it was stigma to her teachers’ lessons that she vowed to fix one day. “Sorry… wolf… but you feel very…. Um… big and bad to me.” Apologies never came easily to her given how she had lived before, but she won’ forget to admit her wrongdoing and reasoning for it._

_She curls up into a familiar shoulder as she feels magic urging her to sleep almost as she hears her hahren’s voice take a harsher tone to speak._

* * *

“Eira… wake up.” She feels the presence of a familiar spirit faster than she feels a gentle hand on her shoulder trying to rouse her. “Merril and Fenris are fighting again.” This routine between Merril and Fenris was unfortunately becoming an almost daily routine that she wished they’d stop…

“Again? So early in the morning?” She lets out a long sigh as she rubs her eyes. They were… wet. Had she been crying? It would explain why she felt more… longing, sorrow… and a sense of loss, but she could almost feel like she remembered why….

“Is something wrong Cole?” Cole is staring at her, well more than usual as she quickly picks herself off the bed. It had been a week since they had made it the next village, yet half of them were uncertain if this was even where they wanted to go. It was a change from their usual indecisiveness given how they had heard rumours of a settlement further west in the Frostback Mountains from other travelers... and there was the prospect of venturing east to the Brecilian Forest where some ruins laid.

“You’ve been dreaming of the past.” Cole frowns for a moment as his eyes lock on to hers as he fiddles his fingers together. “You usually don’t do that. It hurts your head because of the magic…”

“….I’m sorry Cole, but what did you say?” She always paid attention to what Cole said, but right now, she could barely catch the sound of his words as she feels the effects of a headache coming on. It looks like he’s mouthed ‘ _oh no and I’m sorry, I need to try again’_ as he wipes away her tears with his sleeve _,_ but she isn’t certain as she watches him pull in close as she clutches the side of her head to focus.

_Forget._

“Eira, Merril and Fenris are fighting again.”

“Again? So early in the morning?” She frowns for a moment as she considers the pair. This routine between Merril and Fenris was unfortunately becoming an almost daily routine that she wished they’d stop for almost two weeks now that she realized it. It was usually easier for her to arbitrate whatever mess they had created than Varania, even more so when she had a clear head. “Is something wrong Cole?”

“…Have you found it easier to dream lately?” He’s watching her with concern in his expression, and she gives her friend a self-depreciating smile.

“I have. I think it’s because of this mark on my hand.” While Cole always respected her feelings and despite his lack of understanding of what privacy was half the time, he didn’t pry on any issues that she was seriously uncomfortable or not ready to talk to him about, although admittedly, she always ended up talking to him about them in the end. She was honestly a bit worried about what he’d think of the mark on her hand given how she believed the Beyond to be his home at one point. “Fenris and Varania can’t know about it.”

He nods quietly in understanding as he looks at her hand carefully. “It makes you seem… brighter. I don’t know how to describe it to you since you don’t see how I see. It sings a song to… protect you and let you dream with new magic you don’t know about yet….and…” Cole stops for a moment as he closes his eyes. “The song it sings might be meant for someone to identify you as more than who you are, though I’m not sure… and I think it might be causing problems for the voices in your head.”

“I see… Thank you, Cole.” Eira frowns slightly at that. The Vir’Abelasan hadn’t offered her any insight on how to remove the mark, or anything else, and almost seemed like it was holding something back, and if anything her mind felt… clearer than usual. There was the increased likelihood of Cole playing a part in that, but she wouldn’t press him for details. No, she could never spurn compassion. Not when he had saved her before, and if Cole ever deemed an action necessary, she had promised to not ever hold it against him. Out of all of the people she had met and of her limited circle of friends, she trusted Cole more than anyone to look out for her. She’s not sure why but he focused so much on her though. In her mind it was better if compassion wasn’t always concerned with her though she knew she lacked her friend’s perspective… “I’d better go find them now.”

* * *

“We should just leave the witch and be done with it.” Fenris’ voice is firm as they walk westward. They were more or less scouting out the environment in the area but the reason they were out here now was mainly to put some distance between him and Merril and Eira’s forceful intervention since it looked like that they were going to strike each other down. Still, it was also a good excuse to get outside since they hadn’t been doing much with everything blanketed in a layer of snow. Aside from gathering a few curative herbs that poked out of the ground, getting some fresh air was a nice.

Tamen smiles bitterly at the suggestion and shakes his head. He had volunteered to come along with them as well since there was a chance he could practice despite him being a wicked shot. Both of them were certain however that he didn’t want to be around Merril that much, but didn’t raise the issue. “We’re still too close to the Sabrae. If we want to do that and get away with it, we’d have to be at a few least leagues away. The hunters from the clan are quite capable.”

Eira smiles as she walks next to the two. In the past week she’s come to trust the errant hunter enough with her name and her profession, but he usually didn’t refer to her by name if they were close to Merril, whom she had only been cordial with on the surface. She was still disturbed by the magic the former First practiced and didn’t want to get too close to her at the moment, even if she was close to her best friend. Merril just didn’t seem to get the fine line between demons and spirits that she and Fenris had both drawn- mainly that spirits were benevolent like Cole, and their help did not come at the cost of one’s soul.

In Tamen’s case though, it was easier for her to open to him since he was significantly closer to Varania. It took an effort on Eira’s part to do everything in her power to _not_ try and comment on how their relationship was progressing. Every time they were in the same room though, they would look at each other with the shyest of gazes provided they thought that no one else was around to watch.

Her gaze turns to Fenris for a moment with an inquisitive look on her face. Like her, Fenris knew best when to retreat and remain silent and he usually didn’t get so aggravated. “What exactly were you two arguing about this time?”

He frowns. “Magic. Particularly regarding eluvians.”

“Oh…” Tamen lets out a sigh with slightly dejected light in his eyes. “Let me guess: she was talking about how they were necessary and how that the People shouldn’t be afraid to use them?”

“Is this why you don’t particularly seem to like Merril?” Eira doesn’t say ‘get along’ mainly because of what she could remember. In clans, survival often depended on one another and it was imperative that everyone worked well enough together at times.

The hunter frowns and nods his head. “It probably won’t be an issue later, but I might as well tell you. My cousin disappeared along with my best friend because of some dark and twisted magic involving an eluvian because of Merril. One that felt wrong or perhaps even led to the Void…“ He sighs, not wanting to continue. “I try to maintain a cordial relationship with Merril because of them…. But it’s hard sometimes.”

“…There are some reasons some of the eluvians have been lost.” Eira murmurs softly as she nods in understanding. She’s seen a few eluvians on her travels that had been shattered, those mirrors were only found either in desolate ruins or the abandoned wilderness. In a memory she thinks is hers, someone had told her that while the eluvians are greatly beneficial to the People overall, there are still many that led to worse fates then a den of beasts. ”Unless you can actually direct an eluvian, using one that’s beyond the People’s cities is just inviting trouble.”

“We have used one like that though.” Fenris thankfully doesn’t sound condemning in anyway as he comments, and for a moment he seems distant. She’s almost certain that he used one outside of civilization at least once by himself. “It could have led us to the Sunless lands for you know.”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Yeah, except I was still told that it would take us to Arlathan... which it did.”

“Told by whom?” Eira just smiles as she taps her head with her index finger twice. Tamen knows about the Vir’abelasan but still didn’t get how the voices in her head weren’t exactly hers. “What happens if you didn’t listen to those… voices?”

“I don’t know. My soul might have been crushed?” Eira’s words probably sound more uncaring than they should be as she shrugs her shoulders. The Well had saved her life, likely more times than she could remember so she never truly felt constricted by its power when given direction. If anything, on the chance that something did happen to her because of it, Eira herself felt that it would a necessary action since her lease on life was supposed to have been cut significantly earlier. “I’ve never not, but that’s what I’d guess?”

“…You shouldn’t talk like that, Eira.” Fenris’s brows furrow as he makes eye contact. He knew her well enough to know about how detached she could be at times since like himself and his sister, she had found themselves in similar situations- namely their lives had been extended because of someone else’s intervention..”….Varania…. would not like that, nor would I.”

“Of course, sorry Fenris and… I apologize Tamen. I doubt you wanted to hear something like that.”

“It’s… all right. I understand. I think.” He smiles for a moment and shakes his head. They’re off-topic. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

Eira smiles for a moment but her eyes narrow as she feels a tingling sensation on her skin, and immediately raise her hand firmly, causing both Fenris and Tamen stop immediately beside her. “Shhh. I can hear something.” She closes her eyes for a moment and concentrates. Technically it was sensing fluctuations in the Beyond, but there were occasions where she did actually hear the clashing of blades. “Someone or something is fighting nearby…”

Fenris nods as he grabs his sword. He knows that she’s not one to start a conflict, but she was always ready to stop them. Likewise, Tamen’s hands are on his bow though he’s less sure about what they plan on doing as the new element in how they were used to operating. “How many mages?”

“…At least…. Three? It doesn’t feel like our People’s magic though.” Eira opens her eyes and frowns. “I’m not sure what it is they’re going after though. I feel magic, but I’m not sure what it is…” Her voice trails off for a moment when she spies the quarry as they stealthily approach the source.

It’s a wolf of white-grey fur surrounded in a small clearing by others wearing furs of sorts that she doesn’t recognize, almost like savages of sorts given how outlandish they seem, but there’s a small flash of recognition that she catches in Fenris’s eyes that quickly disappears. “What do you want to do?”

The beast is outnumbered in the clearing and it looks like one of its legs is broken. The idea of anyone using excess amounts of magic to try and kill it seems ludicrous. They don’t have a lot of time to decide to either intervene or do nothing.

“…The wolf is a sacred animal to Fen’Harel. I can’t just sit by.” The god’s name is almost like poison on Eira’s lips. Invoking the name of any of the Pantheon aside from Mythal usually left a bitter taste in her mouth given the little knowledge she had of them, but always felt hate surge within her whenever she mentioned one in particular. “…We need to help it.”

“And the attackers?” It’s the first time engaging in combat with Tamen, so he obviously doesn’t know what Fenris was now frowning about.

“….Spare them.” Her voice is curt and heavy like her words as she gazes at her new targets further ahead.

“Why? They’re not even of the People!” Her directive is likely different than what most hunters are accustomed to when tracking down one’s prey. One did not show mercy to the target unless it belonged to the gods, but equally, one would stay their hand if there was no danger. There was certainly danger now.

Eira just smiles as she lets out a deep but calm breath. “They have their own lives that I have no wish to interfere with. Cutting down someone simply because they aren’t us is not how I behave, and judging a book by its cover incorrectly can be costly.” While he doesn’t say anything, Tamen nods with understanding as she watches him release the arrow from his grasp.  

* * *

The fight thankfully doesn’t take long and is mostly one-sided given the way they immediately target their mages before sending the rest into a very uncomfortable nap either through a blow to the head or through the passing of lightning through them that would leave them twitching for an hour at least. Most of the wounds inflicted are superficial, but there’s one unfortunate person who had a number of arrows half-buried into his chest, and was consequently bleeding more than the others.

“Sorry.” She doesn’t blame Tamen though as she rushes to the now unconscious person’s side. This person had nearly split him in half with his skill and looked to be the leader of this group of not-People. He had also used something that dispelled her magic which had originally been why Tamen had been more ruthless with his aim.

“It’s all right. Can you cut off his sleeves and remove his upper armour?” He follows her instructions immediately as Eira concentrates on the subject of her newest task after she removes the person’s silver and maned helmet so that she can stick a bundle of cloth in his mouth. He has a handsome face of sorts, blond hair, ears that are like Cole’s, and bore a small scar over his lip. The condition he is in however looks worse than the wolf they sought to help who appears to be… observing them despite its limp. “Fenris, can you gather some herbs for that salve your sister makes?”

She doesn’t need to turn to know that her friend’s gone off deeper into the woods to gather what she needs when she begins to gather her mana and presses her hands to her unconscious patient’s chest as she does her best to take his chest piece off, or at least move it, so that she remove grasps onto one of the arrows. The pain will make him want to go to the Void, but he’ll be alive at least. Eira’s never bothered to use her healing magic effectively on strangers given how she consciously acknowledged how if one healed an enemy, she had to be prepared to fight them. As a result of that, she only healed the wounds that were life-threatening and never bothered with anything that would heal _eventually_ for her own safety _._ It wasn’t really in her nature to not help others, but some fears would not allow her to change her practices. Still, one did not prepare to hurt someone without preparing for the possibility that they’d be hurt themselves.

“Tamen, I need you to hold him down. This is going to hurt. A lot. ” Somehow she’s managed to move the blasted piece of armour off with minimal damage to the arrows so that it’s no longer directly covering him so she now has some space to remove the arrowheads embedded into him.

“….Have you done this before?” The hunter’s voice is quiet as he grabs hold of the person’s wrists to pin him to the ground.

“....Twice. Once for Fenris. At least this guy’s unconscious though.” Fenris had been awake and extremely suspicious when she had removed an arrow from his shoulder as it had been when they had first met. The other incident had been for her though she doesn’t mention it since she is partially uncertain of the memory. There had once been arrows that pierced her body that were inflicted upon her by own clan…. Now’s not the time to think about it though. She lets out a large sigh as Eira pushes the thought away from her mind to casts a sleep spell. It won’t keep him under for long, much less through the entire procedure. “…For now anyway.”

There’s a lot of grunting and thrashing when she progresses, and when she finally reaches the halfway mark, she has to stop since the person’s awake and very much struggling against them. “I’m trying to help, dammit! I refuse to kill anyone for no good reason. So shut up, and stop squirming!”

For a moment, he thinks that he’s staring at her ears as she yells at him and, it’s only thanks to Fenris whacking the poor fellow in the head does he finally stop. “I’ve told you before, Eira. That’s really not safe, nor worth it, given how much trouble that always seems to give you.”

He at least doesn’t say anything else when he hands her a mix of mashed elfroot and other herbs that she needs before continuing. Not everything is there, but she can make do with an incomplete poultice. “Noted, and already taken into account.”

She frown as she continues. There’s something about the unconscious person and his companions that reminds her of someone that she can’t remember meeting. It was a woman, she thinks, though that thought and the fleeting memory soon disappear from her in the blink of an eye. There’s still lots of struggling, but Eira eventually finishes and heals the body beneath her so it’s no longer a pincushion, and rubs the poultice over him.

“Do you always do this to people who try to kill you?” Tamen’s question makes her laugh as she nods. Out of the corner of her eye, Fenris has a slightly annoyed smile on his face as he rolls his eyes. As long as she didn’t spare those that came after him and his sister, he was generally _okay_ with how she did things.

“Yes. I do. I don’t think it’ll really change anything if you use violence…. Besides, putting anyone in a more permanent state of consciousness is probably one of the easiest ways to earn yourself more trouble in the future. Vengeance… or justice, if you will, is an easy enough excuse for anyone. It takes more to set aside differences, provide one’s forgiveness, show mercy, and to endure whatever circumstances have been wrought.” It sounds stupid for her to say that given what she wanted because of what happened before. She still hated her clan for what they had done, and in all honesty, she wanted them dead for the injustices inflicted upon her. Them, and the one who they wanted to curry favour to. “All right. Done. Now all we need to do is take their weapons and plant them in a path opposite of our direction.”

“I’ll go do that.” The hunter is already on his feet faster that she can raise an objection, but it at least gives her time alone with Fenris to talk.

“So. I take it you’ve seen these… not-People before?” Her tone is gentle but firm as she locks eyes with her friend. It’s her signal to him that she’s not going to let him avoid this topic, lest she go ask his sister, which Fenris will not appreciate in the slightest.

“I have. Though I doubt Varania remembers. She’s pushed most of those memories away. A significant blow to the head will also help with that.” He shakes his head with an almost regretful look on his face, and Eira almost regrets asking the way she did. One of the reasons why Varania had a better outlook on everything than her brother was because she had pushed away so much of what had hurt them both. “Our People…. I believe the term that we use to refer to these…. strangers, is shemlen.”

“Shemlen?” An interesting name for a species, though they were certainly quick on their feet. “Did you… expect to see any this far… south?”

“No… I did not.” Whenever they spoke of directions it was always applied to the same unspoken place. “Though that begs the question: what were they doing out here…?”

They quickly look around their surroundings as they both realize they had forgotten something which neither of them had been keeping an eye on, and there’s an immediate sinking feeling in her chest. “The wolf…. It’s gone.”

“If its injured it won’t be getting far.” Fenris immediately moves ahead to locate the creature, but she knows he won’t find it. She can’t sense it anymore. No regular beast would be able to do stop a mage from at least getting the general sense of where it was if it had been touched by distortions from the Beyond… but that would explain why she had sensed magic from it earlier….

Eira has heard of the magic of shape-shifters before, and the idea of one watching her sends a chill down her spine. She’d have to be a lot more careful in the future lest anyone catch wind of her existence again though it’s a small comfort that the wolf she encountered in her dreams couldn’t be one… Dreamers were extraordinarily rare anyway, so the likelihood of it being a shape-shifter as well was practically impossible....


	6. Talking to Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solas Chapter! and with Cole...

It had been a stroke of luck that one of his agents had managed to catch a glimpse of the woman after being ambushed by the humans. Granted, their desire to see the agent in question pursued so far into Elvhenan wasn’t unwarranted given that he had been tasked by Mythal herself ensure that any artifact was retrieved or destroyed to keep out of their hands, which his agent had done so. It was one of the few tasks that involved more danger than usual, but was ultimately necessary for those among Elvhenan.

His network however, although it was vast in both size and scope, was extremely limited in numbers outside of Arlathan, and generally more concentrated in any location that held personal interest to the other members of the Pantheon. Still, they were always extremely efficient in their missions and he could ask no more of them.

Felassan had been nagging him numerous times to get more agents stationed near human activity sightings, and now he was regretting that decision slightly since it might have meant he’d have more information now in tracking her down. It was like an unnatural hunger he had never known ever since he had laid eyes on her. His desire to see her gnawed at him during his waking hours while his nights were spent trying to locate her. Thankfully, now he had a very generalized location of the south of where she had been sighted, and it was unlikely she would stay in place too long.

Still, she gave the impression that she was at least planning on staying put for the most part until winter. Travelling with people meant that one usually exercised more caution as there was more concern for the overall well-being of everyone…. It wouldn’t leave much time to try and identify potential locations for her travels though…

Once during the two weeks she had somehow managed to elude his gaze had he been tempted by the idea of asking the other Evanuris for a boon for information regarding Lavellan… but he unfortunately decided against it as he knew better. Nearly half of the pantheon did not particularly like him and if they knew he was interested in someone who was marked by one of them? It could potentially make her life a nightmare or get her killed… At the very least they would have gone out of their way to find out more since they were never above getting anything that be used against him… alternatively, anything that would put him into their debt. A situation that he avoided at all costs.

He would prefer if nothing happened to her however. Or Eres. Or anyone close to her. Not after knowing that the candidate from Clan Lavellan had died…

He frowns for a moment as he walks about in the Beyond. Given his increased difficulty in locating her meant that she had either not been sleeping well, or at odder times, or has something troubling her that had caused her to inadvertently raise her own mental defences unconsciously. The idea that she was mastering his mark in such a way pleased him however as it made the pursuit more challenging. He wanted to tell her the truth about the person she had met that night, about the gift he bestowed upon her, about the way that his heart fluttered whenever he saw her smile and listened to the sound of her voice… it was why he hadn’t disguised himself this time around as he walked. He wanted her to learn of the truth.

He sees her, once again from a distance, although as always her back is towards him. Soft laughter is in the air as she dreams of what he perceives to be either a temple or ruin of sorts, though he isn’t quite sure given the glimpses of architecture he can make out surrounded by foliage. It looks like she’s painting, though he isn’t quite sure if it’s simply a dream or a memory. While he wants to run and see her, a hand appears in front of him to stop him. “No, you need to stop. You did something you shouldn’t have.”

“Who are you?” Although he asks, he recognizes the person in front of him wearing the rather large hat. He was the spirit boy that was by her side that initial night… She had said that he was her friend. It was almost unheard of for anyone aside from him to have befriended a spirit. “And what do you mean by shouldn’t have?”

“I am Cole. I am Compassion. She doesn’t remember. She can’t and won’t. Not until she’s ready and wants to. Too much pain and fear, but I remember. She helped me… and she helped Cole. She can’t remember the promise I made to kill those who would hurt her.”

“I have no intention of hurting her.” Although his proclamation is honest and sincere, Cole shakes his head with a solemn look on his face. While the spirit makes no move to have _him_ move away, he can tell that his gaze is almost admonishing him.

“If you push too much you’ll hurt her. Your mark isn’t hurting her directly but it draws out old wounds. I can’t let you see her like this. With you wanting to tell her. So honest and true unlike the mask you always wear. You want to be sincere but she doesn’t know about her feelings right now. Real, gentle, and longing, yet new and unfamiliar…” He sighs before closing his eyes. “But she has a deep hatred for the you she doesn’t know.”

“What do you mean by that?” He had no idea how he could have possibly earned any form of spite from her, much less have a spirit tell him on her behalf.

“Long nights. All alone. Lost and afraid. Always pushed away. Hoping she won’t be taken. Praying for help that she knows someone like her can’t ever hope to receive. Never safe from being preyed upon, thinking that she’ll be devoured as soon as she takes a step outside.” The spirit’s voice is soft again as it speaks of events and memories he wished to have the knowledge of. A pang of guilt hits his heart as he imagines her. Warm and vibrant. Different from what is described, and in pain. He hopes such a situation will never befall her again... “If you push too hard, she’ll do everything she can to not see you again, and she will run.”

“Is that a warning?” While he asks on reflex – he knows he can’t help it since he wants and needs the reasoning. Someone such as himself was not used to being refused, especially by spirits when asked, and Cole had elected not to not answer his question.

“It’s the truth. It’s what Lavellan did the first time when she read the script she was supposed to follow, though she nearly died to change it….” The spirit’s voce sounds so full of melancholy now, and he reluctantly concedes that he will know of her actions more than him. “A child lost in the dark. Always running. Always scared but magic that isn’t hers keeps her steady. You shouldn’t try anything that will upset that flow. She must do it herself or with help from him.”

“…Can I ask for her name at least?” His brow twitches involuntarily at Cole. Was the person he was referring to have a connection to her past? Or someone else who cared for her? Did the spirit know how he figured that if he could learn of whoever’s magic had touched her, it would be easier to learn of her more about her and perhaps who might have been binding her?

“No. You know her by her name which she’s not comfortable with. Skin that fits but feels wrong. Home and family lost and pushed away. She wanted to forget so she would stop hurting. If you want to heal the hurt in her heart you have to know her more than just the name which you must discover yourself…. Otherwise the seal will break and her mind will not recover.”

“I understand.” He promises himself that he will not reveal what, rather who he was, not until he found her and she truly discovered him. They could learn together. He steals a glance of her form once last time as he pushes himself away from the dream.

* * *

He wakes with a sigh. Cole’s words still linger with him and make his heart feel heavier than usual as he pulls himself up. The idea that he at least will have it easier now to find her however does help alleviate his spirits, though he still has to isolate the likely locations that she’d travel to, and given her interest in ruins, there aren’t many in the area identified for him. Staying where he won’t change anything, and thankfully he’s never been one for the luxuries of Arlathan, so his departure from the crystalline palaces will be duly noted by the others. If anything, they’ll be glad to see him go for a time instead of causing what they call mischief and trouble.

Still, he knows that he must exercise caution. Some of the Evanuris will most certainly try to take advantage of the situation and hinder him any way they if they find out that he is seeking someone. It’s unfortunate that since he has to journey to somewhere so far in Elvhenan since none of his personal eluvians can take him such a distance in that direction, meaning it’s best to leave under the cover of nightfall.

It’s almost… amusing to realize how bewildered he feels when thinking about her. She hadn’t been interested in him because of his standing, and she treated him like any other normal member of the People, even when he wasn’t exactly in the form of one. His identity wasn’t one ever to be taken lightly either so he couldn’t ever truly engage in anything as casual as he had with her. It had been a long time since he had felt like this…

Even longer was how he wasn’t being showered with false praise in an effort to win him over somehow. She had shown sincere recognition for something that had done and he can clearly remember the way her face lit up that night when he showed her his own works. She didn’t even have to say anything to let him know he was appreciated. Her eyes… her expression… everything about her was real and genuine.

The simplicity of it was almost ludicrous, but not lost on him. He smiles as he begins gathering his things for the journey. There would be no tricks to use. No titles to uphold. No illusions to keep save the secrets of he had to be instead of who he was. He would be free from his burdens and bonds of duty when he finally found and saw her. He would be himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im probably going to have solas formally introduced soon...

**Author's Note:**

> I think im going to try updating this... monthly? well as the minimum. the ideas i have for this actually make writing the amount written for this chapter... almost feasible for other chapters being just as long (this chapter takes about 9 pages on word!) lol.... Not entirely sure if this will be multiple POVs since I think it would be interesting to see things from the masked gentleman who has gone unnamed... well at least in the story so far. huzzah for character tags. but man I really should stop getting more ideas... as it is I should really learn how to juggle... 
> 
> also... eira likes winter and snow. it's her favourite season.
> 
> and I think im going to throw in more silly fairy tale references... and maybe musical ideas later.


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